So Cal Foodie

Homemade Tamales

2011-07-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would make my own tamales. It's such an authentic food and I've always been told that it's a time consuming process. So, I just figured, eh, I'll buy them when I feel like it and that's all I can do.

But then my son decided he really like them. If he's decided to order a large meal at a Mexican restaurant, he's likely to order a cheese enchilada and a tamale.

I like to make things for those I love, hence the freshly made tamales in my kitchen right now. I'm feeling vindicated because these are without question the best tamales we've ever eaten.

Thank you, Allrecipes for the base recipes that I modified.

Life in High Speed

2011-07-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

This year has been a blur.

I started with a new company last year, and have been really enjoying getting to know all about the company and my coworkers. There has been an incredible jump in my social life because of the new friends I've been making - and I've loved it!

A few new things I've done this year:

Shooting - At the range, lots of different handguns including revolvers and semi-automatics, up to a .44!). I have even purchased my own, which I love. She's my baby.

Argentine Tango - I've just taken one class, but since it's dance lessons in general that I love, I can really see going back some more. I need a new pair of shoes though. Any excuse to buy new shoes, I like. :)

Traveled to New Orleans - An amazing trip, with amazing people. Had a fantastic time enjoying the food and the sights. I can't wait to go back. Hurricanes, Muffalettas, the Garden District...

Traveled to Wisconsin - Land of the cheese curds and sturgeon spear fishing. My work has offices there and I went out for some training. It was great to meet my coworkers and showed me how invaluable it is to get to know people face-to-face.

And a few things coming up:

My first lone road trip - My son and I will be going camping at the Great Sand Dunes and then checking out Santa Fe. Can't wait, it should be a blast!

Georgetown Visit - Today I'm heading up to one of our small mountain mining towns in Colorado. Should be fun!

Gambling in the Colorado Mountains (?) - I haven't checked out any of our little (and few) gambling communities here in Colorado, but I want to! Just to play a few slots and maybe a few hands of poker or blackjack.

Back to school - I'm heading back after a nice summer off to continue working on my bachelor's degree in business. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I have some new motivation to get my classes finished in the next year and a half (my work is giving me a great opportunity to develop my HR/recruiting skills).

The only thing that I'd like to be able to add to this year would be meeting the right guy! Crossing my fingers and hoping (beyond hope) that I'll be lucky enough to meet a nice guy that fits my personality. In the meantime, though, I've got lots on my plate and will have no problem keeping busy!

Fly Fishing Pt. 2

2010-07-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

I went out a few weeks ago and tried fly fishing for the first time. I loved it. It was so peaceful and it was as close to meditation as I think I'll ever get. (I'm a think-too-much typical Virgo. All you Virgos out there who can sympathize, can I get a woot?)

If you've never gone fly fishing, here's what it was like. I'm standing in the middle of a beautiful lake. The sun is shining and it's cool, but not too cool. I casting my line. Back and forth. Checking over my shoulder to see what my line is doing. Is it leveling out before I bring it forward again? No? Patience, rhythm..now it is. Ok...where are the fish? Looking, looking. Oooh, a little flip-flop in the water over there tells me where to cast! Cast, pull slowly in. Cast, pull slowly in. How's my back cast?

Rinse, repeat.

So, since I enjoyed the time so much, I decided to get some inexpensive used gear and get back out there. I got my very first fishing rod today! It's used, but a good one. It's a Sage Graphite III 586 (5 weight, 8' 6" long).

Now, I just have to get out there and try some more fishing. Oh yeah, and learn how to tie things on. And probably a million other things. But, here's to hoping I still get to have that simple train of thought each time. When work, school, parenting and dating don't matter and all I'm thinking is - where are the fish?

Fly Fishing

2010-07-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Me and my girls at Rocky Mountain National Park earlier this month. We took fly fishing lessons and had a blast. I now understand why people like fishing. It was the closest a busy-minded Virgo like myself ever gets to meditation.

What does Easter mean in an atheist household?

2010-04-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

What does Easter mean in a house with atheists?

I am raising an amazing 10-year-old son. But I have this feeling like part of the "basic education" that I've been providing throughout his life has been conspicuously lacking in one major area.

I've taught him (and continue to try and teach him):

how to treat others
that learning is not just a pain in the butt for school, but rather an opportunity to explore the amazing world around us and that you can learn your whole life
that friends can't be replaced, we need them and it pays to be a good friend
that family is different than friends, and there's no replacement for family either (not even friends)
that food is one of the simple pleasures in life and can bring joy
that girls like boys and vice versa...and that it's a good thing
that I don't want to look back at the end of my life and regret things that I didn't do because I was afraid
that you have to see the original classic movies (even if they weren't amazing by today's standards) before you see the new remake...because I think it's right to give the old movies their due and the new versions often times are crappier (and, yes, he thinks the original trilogy was so much better than the prequels - which I wouldn't let him watch first)

So, I've covered a lot of bases, but one major area that we were educated in that he is completely lacking in is religion. I was raised in a Baptist Christian household. We went to church every Sunday. We prayed before we ate and before we went to bed. But really, inside, I was a young atheist. A doubter that felt like a liar when she prayed and wished that she didn't have so much cognitive dissonance when it came to her thoughts on God.

I came to terms with my feelings and am in a happy place now. But I've realized in the last few years that my son doesn't know the simple stuff - you know, Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden, etc., and I'm doing him a disservice by not giving him some information about religion. At least for future Jeopardy questions, but mainly for the larger picture. Most people do believe in some variation of Christianity. And my son is completely out of touch with that world.

Perhaps I'll buy the book on Amazon on world religions and see how much it covers. Maybe I'll ask him if he remembers from last Easter what I explained about the holiday (and how it has nothing to do with chocolate, boiled eggs and rabbits). It would be a lot easier if we ate chocolate crosses and the risen messiah was the mascot instead of the "Easter Bunny."

For now, I'm going to try and come up with a new Easter tradition for us to enjoy. He's too old for the egg hunt and too young to appreciate a ham dinner with deviled eggs. His idea was to have it be a "code day" where we make new codes up. Maybe he's not so far off from what Easter is for many of us...a day with hidden meanings that are very separate from the original idea.

St. Patrick's Day - aka Find Cute Boys Not Wearing Green Day

2010-03-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

People who work with me know. I'm boy crazy.

It stems mostly from the fact that I'm boy-deprived. I got divorced 2 1/2 years ago and although I've been on a bunch of dates, I haven't had a boyfriend. So, besides a few sweet kisses with one boy, I've been lonely. And, um..."desirous of companionship." (Which is why I stayed up later than I should tonight when I heard that Dwayne Johnson was going to be on the Tonight Show.)

So, all I have to say to the smart, cute, single guys out there: stop wearing green on St. Patty's day.

I took advantage and pinched at least four boys today. (It would have been more, but I had to run an errand on lunch.)

And, what do you know, you can't really pinch someone without striking up a conversation. I mean, it's sort of weird to just pinch and run, right?

Next year, I'm going to head into Boulder and find a busy place with lots of cute boys. I hope they forget to wear green.

February Foodie Stop: Breadworks in Boulder

2010-03-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

Restaurant-a-Month
Judy's Pick
February 2010

Breadworks
2644 Broadway
Boulder, CO 80304

They pride themselves "on our award-winning organic artisan breads, fine pastries, fresh à la carte breakfasts, lunches and our gourmet take-away food."

What We Ate
We both ate the chicken torta panini, which has grilled chicken, spicy avocado mayo and pepper jack cheese on their fresh baked bread. It came with chips and a pickle.

The Good Stuff
The food was fresh and the bread was great. We both had French toast on our minds when we finished lunch. The bread was dense and moist, something unlike the weightless Sara Lee white whole wheat I usually buy for home (for my son's PB&Js). The trip through line was pretty darn fast - but that's for another reason (see the section below -what we would change).

What We Would Change
Judy and I are both big flavor people. We don't shy away from seasoning our foods well. These sandwiches, "spicy avocado mayo" notwithstanding, were nothing special. The flavors didn't pop at all and weren't really memorable.

In addition, when I pay $8.95 for a panini, I at least expect that it will be grilled for me right then, served hot from the griddle with crisp bread and oozing cheese. These were precooked and kept wrapped and in a hot spot.

The Bottom Line
Based on what I ate there, I would definitely consider going back to buy one of their breads for home. I have also heard good things about the soup, so I'd try those. However, I'd skip the paninis because of the price and lack of flavor. Our paninis, with loose chips and a pickle cost $8.95 plus tax.

Keeping Commitments: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is...

2010-02-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

We have all heard it, some story about someone who lost all of the weight they should have because of a wager. Or that they did some other monumentally huge task that they always avoided because someone dared them to.

Whether it's the money, or hating to lose, this type of motivation seems to work well for some people.

Enter StickK.com, a website where you can make a contract with yourself and put your money where your mouth is. You can involve your family and friends, so they know what you're promising to do.

If you don't fulfill your commitment, you either lose money to a friend/family member or you can choose to lose your money to a charity - but it will be a charity you HATE, because hey, where's the motivation otherwise?

This is a great idea. At first I sort of blew the idea off, but then I realized...for a frugal person like myself, this is ideal. I would hate to lose the money, so I really should use this to make me follow through on some big things.

Like finding a job that makes me excited to head to work. Or being more social so that I have a chance to meet my next great love.

What would you choose to commit to?

From 60 to Zero (my new year's crash & burn)

2010-02-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

It's official. I've hit my new year's slump.

I'm exhausted and working hard to keep dragging my butt to work and studying for school. The new year started out gangbusters, but I think that was because I still felt the promise of change. The fresh start made me hopeful that this year will somehow hold some promise that last year didn't.

Why did I think this? I'm not sure.

At the end of the year we were all excused from focusing on our serious responsibilities (at least a little) because we had "urgent" personal things to take care of. We all talked about holiday shopping, cooking and visiting relatives.

After the new year hit, I got super focused. I organized my paper pile, put away my decorations and actually put things on my calendar. I think that many people I know did the same thing. We made resolutions, hit the gym and cleaned our offices. The holidays were over, and gone with them the joking and goofing off.

If I were a business owner, I think that I would find a way to capitalize on this new year energy spurt.

Because, now, on February 12, my energy is gone.

Work is back to being, well...work. Except that we have the added pressure of big budget cuts and potentially employee layoffs. My workout schedule is suffering and I'm trying to talk myself into going to the coffee shop to study instead of to the local pub for a beer.

I have to figure out how to rejuvenate again and get back that vim and vigor. I think that I'm going to try something new and/or creative as often as I can. We'll see if that works.

Saying What You Mean (and Why I'm an Idiot at Dating)

2010-01-31T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'm a big proponent of saying exactly what you mean. Our ability to use specific words to clarify our intent is one of the best things about language in general.

I used to accidentally say things like 'I'm sorry' when caught up in a conversation with someone who was very upset or angry. But after working for years in various jobs, I realized that some people take that sort of comment very literally. They automatically take your simple apology as an admission of responsibility, when all you're really trying to do is make them feel better.

I am also very careful not to commit to anything that I won't be able to provide. My tendency to take language fairly literally has also led me to demanding more clarity from those who are communicating to me.

But, I admit to being completely lost on one particular communication front: dating.

I was hanging out with this guy on Friday, who is nice and easy to talk to...and I like him on a very basic level. Boyfriend level, I'm not sure. But definitely enough to consider it. So, I gave him my phone number when he suggested that he could "get my number and call me sometime on purpose to hang out."

So...to a person like me, who loves the specificity that language enables us to achieve, I find myself wondering - what the hell does "hang out" mean these days?

I think that dating used to be a lot more formal and clear cut. These days I can't tell if I'm just making friends or heading towards a potential good night kiss. I think that they should publish an online guide, one that changes with the times, that tells you the new rules & definitions of dating.

There are certain areas in my life where I feel smart. But dating isn't one of them.

Getting Trained for Free

2010-01-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

I met a fellow named Rick recently who told me that he liked to cook. We shared several conversations about food and cooking. It was great to talk with someone who knew what fond was and who could point me to some local foodie shops.

He mentioned that he learned how to cook by taking a job cooking. But after several conversations, he explained further.

He decided that he wanted to learn how to cook. So, he approached a local restaurateur and offered to work for free. The restaurateur allowed him to work at one of his local restaurants and boy, did he learn. After about 6 months, he was offered a paid position at one of the other restaurants.

He turned the job down, but that's because he wasn't looking to work as a chef, he just wanted to how to really cook for himself.

My first thought was, well, good for you, it must be nice to have a luxury of not earning a living for six months. But then I realized that I have friends who have been laid off and they're not working anyway. They could be using this time off to learn something new.

The one thing that I've figured out recently is that creativity and hard work means more than anything else when you're trying to navigate this tough economy.

So, if you know of a field where you can work for free to learn about it, I say go for it - you never know. Employers are also dealing with a tough economy and they might love to take you up on your offer.

If you don't know of any companies to approach, or need more skills before you can make such an offer, consider taking online classes. Below is a list of some great universities and a couple other companies offering free courses online.

Free Online Classes/Courses

Learn That

Hewlett Packard Free Classes Online

2010: A Visual Representation & Goals

2010-01-20T12:03:00.000-08:00

My visual representation of 2010!

Goals for the Year

Try one new restaurant every month (January was Leenie's in Longmont, CO)
Blog more often (so far, so good...but that's how it always starts)
Go out on at least one second date
Do well in all of my classes (8 this year)
Keep exercising and eating right on a regular basis
Start using the Rosetta Stone products that I have
Learn at least 2 new skills that will help me be more successful at work (MS Access is one...the other?)
Clean out my closet and drawers and get rid of some stuff that I'm just not using
Figure out a better way to store my onions, potatoes, etc., in my very small kitchen

I know that this is just a belated list of resolutions. But it's never too late to start thinking about what you really want to do with your time and I think it helps to verbalize your goals, too.

No Annual Reviews - How do you motivate and recognize?

2010-01-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

At my current job (been here 2.5 years), I don't get an annual review. I've never had one.

I get the same increase for being here another year (a step increase) that every other clerical/administrative staff will receive.

I might have been doing a really crappy job this fiscal year. Or I might have been the best employee ever seen, saving the company millions, and I would have gotten the very same increase. While this a great on some level (if I ever decided to turn into a real slacker, I don't think I'd ever leave...oh wait - I just described some of my coworkers), I have a real gripe with this.

I feel like an actor (pronounced ak-TOHR), "What's my motivation?"

When there is no accountability built into my work year and also no reward or recognition, the only motivation is going to come from inside of me. That's great, but even for fairly motivated people, we still tend to perform better when we're presented with clearly outlined challenges and the knowledge that someone actually cares what we're doing.

At my last company, we had a personal plan for the year, outlining our goals for our development. Some were simple items that required nothing but self study, but other goals included the company paying for training. We also had annual reviews that tied in to our current responsibilities, feedback from stakeholders and those personal growth goals. It kept me honest and on track. I also really appreciated getting support to develop myself during the year. Feedback from my peers and supervisors was also invaluable (usually, it would be very nice comments but every once in a while you'd get a great insight about some area you could improve in or develop).

Now I work in the public sector and have no goals or review. Maybe this is unique to my job, my office, my company, but I think this model may be found in other public sector jobs.

So, if you can't change the way they do business where you work, is there another method or system that, on a small scale, can foster motivation, self improvement and recognition/reward? And, it would have to be done without budget support and everyone will still get their step increases...so money can't be the incentive.

In my mind, it should include:

clearly defined objectives/goals for work projects
defined personal improvement/development goals
guidance throughout the year to make sure employees are on track
recognition amongst their peers, a way to be differentiated from others and give coworkers a goal to work towards

If you've got something like this at your work already in place, ideas are welcome.

Help! I've Lost My Career Path!

2010-01-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

I am not sure why, but it seems like more and more people I know are unsure of what they want to do with their careers.

Doug, a young bartender at my local pub, has a story that is probably not too different from other people I know. He has his bachelor's degree in economics, with a minor in Spanish, and an associates degree in audio production. He's a bartender now, but that's because he couldn't find any work in his field and needed an income. But how did he end up here?

He was working in another state for a small start up. It was a company that focused on green building. Everything was going great, he loved the company, owner and the work. Then, the owner tells him that she doesn't know why, but they've run out of money and can't afford to keep him on. Later on, she found out that her accountant was embezzling and had stolen $200K from the company.

So, he took advantage of the opportunity to move to Colorado. He loves it here, but he couldn't find work in his field. He took a job bartending just to get by. Now, he realizes that he doesn't want to go into the economics field and heck...he sort of just doesn't know where he wants to go. He saw me doing an exercise designed to help one find their direction in life, and told me very seriously he'd like to know how that works out for me.

My grandparents never waxed on about how they didn't know what they wanted to be. They simply took good jobs, took care of their families and moved on. There wasn't a question about whether or not the loved their jobs. My grandpa worked for the city, managing the crews who paved the streets (hot and smelly). My grandma worked for the phone company as an operator. I think that we talked about how interesting their jobs were, but it never crossed my mind to ask if they liked their jobs.

So, why do we ponder this topic to death now? Why do we get degrees that we don't use, or get 3 degrees in completely different subjects? Is this the new "hippie" culture? Instead of experimenting with drugs and exploring deep philosophical questions, are we experimenting with careers and pondering job/life satisfaction?

I'm feeling my way towards a chosen profession, but even I'm not 100% sure yet. I'm working as a professional in the meantime and getting a real middle-of-the-road degree (business, legal emphasis) because, hey, it's never a bad idea to know about business. It always applies.

But why is it that we have such career ambivalence in so many of our Gen X and Gen Y employees? Is it indicative of a larger issue?

And more importantly, has anyone found an aptitude test that will actually tell me that I should eat great food, travel and have earth shattering sex for a living? Because, doesn't that seem like what we all want? To be told that you should 'do what you love' and 'find what makes you happy' and all that other bull that doesn't seem to exist in the real world (or, at the very least, let's admit that it can't exist for everyone...we can't all eat great food, travel and have sex for a living; after all, who would cook the food for us, fly the airplanes to exotic places and, um, I don't know, create flavored lubricants?).

I would love to see some online tools, tips and tests that have genuinely helped people figure out where they should be, career-wise, in their lives. Something that has real world value. If you've used something like this, let me know. And then I'll pass it on to Doug when I stop in for my next beer.

How Layoffs Can Sometimes Be a Good Thing

2010-01-15T06:10:00.000-08:00

Seems like when we have a bad economic situation, like now, we talk about the negative aspects of it. Layoffs, foreclosures and a falling stock market become part of the daily news.

But when about 20 people at one of our locations were being "displaced," I saw a scenario where some people were happy about it.

Displacement (in my company) means having to find a new job in the company and if there are displaced employees who qualify for an open position, it cannot be offered to outside candidates (unless, I suppose, that the displaced employees all turn it down). But, basically, because most people don't want to take a job unless it's just right (location, coworkers, status, etc.), for many it just is a nice way of being laid off.

Several of the displaced administrative staff asked me if I knew of any jobs. They would ask over and over again, venting about the process and complaining because they were losing their jobs. Not fun to listen to (none of them were what I'd call friends), but understandable.

So it surprised me when some of the folks who didn't lose their job told me (very quietly) at lunch one day, that it was a good thing.

"We had been trying to get rid of that person for about a year and a half. They didn't do their job, they just hung out. So, we started the process of collecting information and counseling them, so if they continued to not do their job, we could write them up and eventually let them go.

Then, they hurt their back at work. They filed a workers comp claim and were out on leave for about a month and a half. When they came back, HR didn't want it to appear that we were trying to get rid of them because of the claim. We had to back off and haven't been able to do anything about it since then. We're glad they're finally going to be gone."

I realized, that if you have employees that don't do their work, can't seem to get along with others, are bullies or have some other issue that prevents them from getting the job done, that layoffs are the perfect time to let some of those folks go. It may not be nice, but when you're forced to reduce staff and you keep the essential employees (read: the ones who do the work), that probably means losing some dead weight.

It's a great reason, even if you're tenured or past your probationary period, to be indispensable. Bottom line, do your job well.

I've survived one round of layoffs (at another company) where, by all rights, I should have been let go. Instead they let go of someone with more tenure than me and kept me instead. I was the only exception that they made to the rule. I'd like to think it was because I'd become too important to the 'powers that be' because of my skills and attitude.

I Hate the phrase, "You should just be happy you have a job."

2010-01-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

I hate it.

Not that it's not true on some level. Most of us, even if our job sucks, are happy that we have an income. That part of our job is nothing to complain about.

But what I hate is that lately, with the economy being so bad, it's become this catch all phrase that really says even if you have a crappy job and aren't happy you shouldn't complain because someone else has it worse.

Well, hell, if that was the only reason to not complain - that someone else has it worse than you - then by all rights, none of us in the U.S. should be complaining about much of anything.

I don't advocate complaining (because, really, what does that get you, except for friends who don't want to hang out) but I do recommend doing something about it.

So, what can you do about it?

Change what you can about your current job.
Most of us feel either happy or unhappy about work because of the people. You can't get rid of your boss. And you probably can't get rid of any other employees. But you can protect yourself from coworkers that are difficult to work with.

Make sure that you're really doing your job. If they have a true gripe about you because you're not reliable or you come in late all the time, then you can expect people to be upset and express it. But if you're truly doing everything that you're supposed to be doing, it gives you a solid place to approach your (or their) boss from. Explain the situation with the difficult coworker and ask them if they can either limit your joined projects or intervene to correct inappropriate behavior.

I have a coworker who has been sending me tons of email, nagging that one of her contractors wasn't being paid on time. She sent several emails that straddled the fence of being professionally curt and being rude, basically insinuating that I wasn't doing my job. She used a tactic that she frequently uses, cc'ing her boss as if this would somehow get me into further trouble. (She has bullied a lot of people in my workplace, sometimes yelling, moving into their physical space and trying to get others in trouble. You can't believe how hard it is to get rid of some employees once they've been with a company for a while. Also, it doesn't help that she threatened HR a lawsuit based on alleged sexual harassment when she realized that she might actually get in real trouble.)

After having a conversation, her boss and I understood each other perfectly. Her expectations were way out of line. He told me that he would make sure she understood what to expect. She continued to send me emails harassing me about this situation every time this person had a payment being processed. She would push and push, again inferring that I wasn't doing my job.

The person who really mattered was the boss, because his opinion could affect me in the future. This lady likes to make herself seem more important than she is...she is constantly trying to control others and seize more power in our office.

So, I defeated her by cutting her out of the equation. I went back to her boss and said, "I thought we were on the same page on this." He agreed that we were. I explained what she was arguing over (same complaining, different day) and he told me that she was wrong and that he would talk to her about it.

I refused to let her intimidate me into doing what she wanted (which was apologizing, jumping through hoops and providing her with preferential treatment). I refused to let her make me look bad and even managed to make her look bad, but only because I was doing my job. I took away the power she was going after. I do battle with this particular lady multiple times a year, but she mostly leaves me alone now because of the way I handle her bad behavior.

Learn new skills towards a new job.
If you're already employed, you have the luxury of being able to learn something new for a future job. Get your current employer to spring for paid training, computer classes or books. Take those community college classes to learn to be a pharmacy tech. If you're unhappy at work, this is the perfect time to really figure out something new to do.

Network.
Tell your friends, family and church that you may be in the market for a new job. Join a professional group online (LinkedIn, Brazen Careerist, etc.) and start rubbing electronic elbows with others who share your skills or interests. Pick up tips and perhaps even learn about jobs from those you meet.

Get a different job.
It's never going to be the ideal time to look for a new job. But it will probably make you feel a lot better if you know that you're doing something productive towards finding new work. And even in a bad economy, there will continue to be good companies with good jobs. There may be more competition for those jobs, so I recommend making sure that you're putting your best foot forward (have an awesome resume, practice interviewing, clean up your party pics on your MySpace page, and get a great outfit).

Foodie Goal: Eat at one new restaurant every month.

2010-01-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

I love food. I love to eat it, cook it and learn about it.

When I moved to Colorado a few years ago, it was a new adventure, a state waiting to be explored. I've made a few small trips, to Colorado Springs, Glenwood Springs and Estes Park. I've tried some local food in my area and in those places I visited.

These are a few places that I've tried and really got a kick out of (for either the food, the location, kitchiness or the people):

Johnson's Corner - it's a truck stop known for their "dinner plate cinnamon rolls" but I ate the chicken fried steak and pie (yum)
King's Chef Diner - the purple castle looking building is actually an old diner car seating 13; their green chili is excellent (spicy)
Radda Trattoria - a Boulder Italian restaurant that we really loved (try the roasted cauliflower)
Lucile's - a Creole cafe (think beignets with powdered sugar)

But my explorations haven't been as extensive as I originally imagined. So, after seeing this great list compiled by Westword, I asked my friend Judy if she would be interested in trying a new restaurant every month. One a month is not a lot, which is exactly the point. I don't want to feel overwhelmed and then abandon the plan, so I'm sticking to a safe goal.

This month we're going to try another southern food restaurant, called Leenie's up in Longmont. I'll be keeping up with my exercising this week so that I don't feel guilty eating the chicken fried chicken with gravy.

Next on my list (I hope that Judy agrees) is the udon noodle bowl at Bones, a new Denver restaurant that is kicking butt and taking names. Pics and reviews will follow.

Let the dining commence!

The Best Part of a Diet

2010-01-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

I dieted from December 31st to January 9th. 10 days. I also exercised every one of those days (fine, I missed one day...can't I pretend I actually made it all the way to the end?). I felt SOOO good while I did this diet, that I'm convinced that it's the right way to do it. Exercise was essential, but eating the right foods for my 1200-1300 calories per day was important, too.

My diet basically looked like this:

- Food (examples): whole wheat English muffins, tofu, low fat cottage cheese, veggies, low-sodium turkey, low fat, low sodium soups, etc. Low fat, low carb, low sodium are all things to remember. High protein stuff helps. 1200-1300 calories per day total.

- Frequency: I ate about every 3 hours and actually counted calories the first couple of days to get the hang of how to estimate my caloric intake more accurately.

- Simple Eliminations: I eliminated sugar and cream from my coffee and learned to enjoy it black. No sugar in my tea, either (it's funny how much more you can taste of the tea and coffee flavors when they aren't masked). I didn't put a tablespoon of butter on my English muffin when I ate it, and it was fine (who knew it could be).

My exercise was all indoors because it's winter in Colorado and many days this season have been well below freezing and snowy. I used 10 Days to a Better Body, a DVD that I bought on Amazon for about $9 plus shipping. It has 2 separate workouts, one for upper body and one for lower body. You are supposed to alternate the exercises every day.

This DVD rocked. I'll continue to use this. The best thing about doing these exercises is that my waist is slimmer than it was before, so it pulls in and gives me more of an hourglass shape.

Now that I'm done with the strict part of the diet/exercise process, you know what I'm thinking? It's time for a classic Smashburger with jalapenos.

I was surprised how much I actually enjoyed my dieting/exercising phase and have decided to incorporate a lot of the things that I learned into my long term regular diet.

Cleaning House

2010-01-11T21:54:00.001-08:00

The new year is the perfect time for me to "clean house."

January is a busy time for me. My vehicle registration is due, my AAA membership is due, and my auto insurance is due soon. I just enrolled and bought books for 3 new classes in my bachelor's degree program (I also started reading my books early..4 chapters down already). I got my son geared back up to return to school (I only had to listen to a few days' worth of whining). I got him signed up for a Kung Fu class and we went to our first session tonight.

So, I obviously have plenty on my plate already, but find that my mind gets into organizational mode and decides it's time to clean everything up. So, I moved old posts from 2 other blogs that I was successfully managing to ignore about as well as this one and deleted them. Poof. They are gone.

I also decided that it was time to go ahead and start looking at the things in my life that I would like to do/have and try to methodically work towards those. I have decided that I want to find out how much it would cost to get a tummy tuck and breast lift done. I'm tired of feeling self conscious about my body and I'm tired of worrying about what other people will think of me if I decide to do it. It's my money and my body. I'm the one who will have to heal.

I've decided that my own personal demons - my neuroses, fears and secret obsessions are not my enemies. They aren't signs of any particular kind of weakness. They are just me. I like being me and I'm pretty sure that one day (even though right now it feels like never) I will meet a boy who will like my brand of crazy, too. Here's to hoping he shows up soon (and in an amazing hot bod, to boot).

My house cleaning has more to do with mind cleaning than anything else. After getting a good night's sleep, eating decently and exercising, I feel pretty damn good. I'm ready to face 2010. Here I come.

New Year's Wish

2010-01-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

I really love Neil Gaiman's New Year's Wish (as delivered at Symphony Hall in Boston):

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

Good Deals

2009-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Free MP3s on Amazon
Lots of cool albums, unusual stuff. Install their music downloader and tell it where you want it to send your songs (to your iTunes player or Media Player).
Individual songs and albums.

Arrested Development, the complete series (Seasons 1, 2, 3)
On sale at Amazon, $28.99 plus free super saver shipping

New Vacuums Rock!

2009-09-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

I brought home my new vacuum last night. After figuring out a problem (my little turquoise lever to lock the canister wasn't locked), I took off and enjoyed the splendors of my new vacuum.

It's funny how cleaning goes from being a chore to being fun - all you have to do is get a new toy! This vacuum was great, with good suction and my carpet has never felt this fluffy and wonderful before! Plus, even though I was only vacuuming a hallway and a bedroom, I had to empty the dust cup 3 times!! (In my defense, I took about a month researching and procrastinating before I bought this, so my carpet was in need of a cleaning...but heck, we don't wear shoes in the house, but it's still amazing how much crap your carpet can collect.)

It's a Bissell 82H1 Cleanview Helix and I bought it from Amazon for $79, an upgrade from my last vacuum, a hand-me-down $59 Eureka. I love that I don't have to buy bags and that it works on hard floors, too. If it lasts me for 3-4 years, I'll consider it money well spent!

Chile Roasting Party

2009-09-18T15:04:00.001-07:00

Chiles roasting away...

Under the grape arbor

Apples piled up, like a trough to feed the local elk

Croquet in the backyard

June Wedding

2009-09-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

It was so great to go see my friends in California this summer. In June, one of my friends, Jan, got married at the Long Beach Aquarium. We all had a lovely time and the best part was getting to see these gals.

Brett and Julieann (one of my better photos - I had so much red eye!!)

And here is the wedding girl...my caption for this photo is: "Here, sweetie, have a drink...relaxxx!" (I wish that I had gotten a better photo of the bride - darn lighting!)

Jan looked beautiful and the wedding was a blast.

Here were some of the cutesy little jellyfish at the aquarium!

Optimist or Pessimist?

2009-09-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

I say it doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full - it's whether the glass holds a margarita.

My boss announced today that he is leaving the company in a month's time, much to the surprise of everyone in my division.

As I've visited with folks today, it seems to be a time for worry and reflection. I haven't really seen much in the way of hope from anyone. Perhaps it's too soon to expect that from people.

My coworker said, "Well, I decided I can either be really negative about it or not be really negative about it." I thought that was an interesting take. I pointed out to him that the two options weren't being negative and being positive, but either being negative or having a lack of any emotion towards it.

I told him that it's like saying either "The glass is half empty," or "I don't want to talk about the damn glass!"

I follow the belief that the quickest way to upset people is to mess with:

a. their home
b. their money
or
c. their children

And right now, in essence, a lot of my coworkers are probably feeling like their money is being threatened.

The other belief that I have is that things eventually work out - one way or another. In about 4 weeks, we'll know how this is going to work out (or at least begin to get an idea).

Momentum & Redefining Priorities

2009-09-10T14:55:00.001-07:00

I recently started to use Google Reader to quickly browse through new posts on my favorite blogs and websites. I love to cruise through what's new at Gourmet, Design Sponge, I Will Teach You to be Rich and Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, among others.

In one of my quick perusals of new posts this week, I saw one titled The Curse of Momentum. I skimmed the article and felt that it really resonated with me.

It basically says that it is a lot easier to keep moving in the direction you're already going than to stop, reevaluate and change course. So, we either keep going with the flow or we make some changes, put the effort in and see what the payout is.

In alignment with this has been my dawning revelation that buying a new home isn't all that I thought it would be. I thought that it would be this life-defining moment where I would feel an indescribable security and sense of well-being. And really, it hasn't done too much to change my life, besides take away that feeling that I'm throwing away money on rent.

When I figured out that owning my own home wasn't everything I dreamt it would be, I asked myself again: what do I want? And the answer was simple. I want to be in love and I want to travel the world and have amazing experiences.

Now that I've redefined my larger priorities, I have to ask myself, what am I doing to get what I want?

I plan to continue to do a couple of things. First, I will continue to do things that scare me. Second, I will continue to try and meet new people in all different types of circumstances.

Then comes the new things I'm going to try. I am planning on doing an exercise that Wisebread talked about on their post: Feeling Stuck? 100 Ways to Change Your Life. I plan on always trying to experience the feelings of hope and openness to change. And I am going to work on discovering specific ways that I can achieve my goals. (Any recommendations are welcomed.)

Everyday is a new day to embrace life and move forward. And I hope that I move forward in the direction I want, instead of just moving with the momentum.

Moving Forward...with a vengeance!

2009-08-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

I bought my townhouse this summer. It's great and I like it. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm thrilled or in love with it, but the simple answer is that it's just another place that I'm going to live for a while. I think that it wouldn't really matter where I'm living, as long as I'm doing it without someone I love by my side, it won't mean as much.

However, I'm very pleased to have my new home and it's one big check mark next to that item on my to-do list.

I am fortunate enough to be able to start another item on my list, as I'm returning to school this week. I'll be in 3 classes this fall, attending through a distance degree program that meets my scheduling needs. I am excited about the challenge of the work and wish that I could devote myself to school full time.

Last week, my mom visited and as a housewarming gift, bought me a bedroom set. I was pretty excited about seeing new furniture in my bedroom. It was the first time I've ever had a new bedroom suite and it's awesome. I especially like my new bed, it's so nice and firm.

I am thrilled with the direction in which I'm moving in my life. It just feels good to make goals and be able to accomplish them!

Lately...

2009-08-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

I, like others I know *wink*, haven't been keeping up with blogging.

So, here is a brief recap of the last several months:

Bought my first home (it's a townhouse). Replaced all of the plumbing, painted a wall and moved in.

Work has been frustrating. However, I'm enjoy the fact that 1) I have a job and 2) I have friends at work.

I applied to a college and should be starting classes soon, again working toward my bachelor's degree.

I've decided that I really need to start dating because I'm feeling very motivated to have a companion.

Life With Bees

2009-05-14T09:16:00.001-07:00

One day at work recently, a coworker told me that one of our custodial staff members keeps bees. Mehmed was telling the people who work in our offices about his "second job," because he was pitching his honey.

He and I struck up a conversation about it the next day and he explained that he was increasing his hives this season. He said that by the end of the season, he would have 100 hives. And those hives would produce about 5 tons of honey. I don't know much about bees or keeping hives, so I'll have to trust his figures on the amount they can produce.

After hearing his projections, I was curious to know where he lived. I wondered where can you keep that many bees? He described where he lived (not too far from my office or my apartment) and I immediately found myself asking, "Can I come see your bees?" I don't think I could've stopped myself if I wanted to.

I have always loved bees, and always felt that they were good luck. I remember once as a child finding a bee dying in the gutter next to my house. It had stung something and would suffer the inevitable consequences for that. But it upset me so much that day. I didn't know if it was in pain. I went inside and found one of my small prized possessions, a white cardboard jewelry box with flat cotton padding in it. I made a little bed for the bee, while probably poking at it a little too much, until it died. I remember crying over that bee and eventually burying him in the box in the yard.

Above: hives all riled up after Mehmed pulled 2 combs per box to start new hives.

Above: honey combs, full and new.

Now, as an adult and a lover of all things food related, I see the real value and luck of having bees around. They are essential to the way of food life as we know it. And since they've been dying out from various problems at an increasing rate in the last decade, a part of me longs to answer the call to raise my own bees in my own yard. Granted, I may end up buying a condo or townhouse and have no place to keep bees, but I get absurdly lucky and end up with a single family home, Mehmed has already promised he would teach me how to keep them.

Above: a tree that died last year cut into 3 sections, with bees living in them.

Mehmed and his wife Fatima are refugees from Bosnia, fleeing years ago during a time of war. They ran from Bosnia directly to Boulder with their three children and have never left. Mehmed previously was a mason, and has various stonework projects around his home as proof. Included in these is the brick fireplace, or as I see it, a brick oven. It is built into a small building next to his garage, the chimney poking out of the roof. Fatima has baked bread and other various goods in the oven, while Mehmed uses the building to smoke meats.

As you walk into his yard, we saw stacks of hive boxes. Mostly they were unoccupied but it didn't stop bees from swinging by, confused, wondering if this is where they should come and drop their loads of nectar. On opposite sides of his yard, there are garden plots holding a plethora of green onion and spinach plants. When we eventually headed home for the day, Mehmed sent me and my neighbor home with bags stuffed full to the point of stiffness with spinach and green onions.
Above: the scene you see when you step into their yard, stacks of hives, ready to be occupied.

After we spent quite a bit of time discussing the bees, including how to start new hives, watering systems (bees will drown in pool type arrangements), frames & combs, and extractors, we sat down with cool beverages and just chatted. We cut into a piece of smoked beef (that I had so forwardly asked Mehmed to let us taste - I know it was rude to ask, but I couldn't stop myself!) and sat in the shade chewing the tough meat and feeding the yipping dogs at our ankles. Once, one of their short dogs managed to jump up and steal a piece of beef from my fingers, teeth scraping against my fingertips, before I even knew what happened. I guarded my meat much more carefully after that. The meat was smoky, tough and chewy and had enough fat content to leave a light layer in the mouth.

Above: chewy, tough, smoky beef.

Fatima came out and handed Mehmed something that looked like a stainless steel pepper mill, said a few words in Bosnian and went back inside the house. Mehmed started to grind the handle of the contraption and when asked, answered that it was a coffee grinder. He showed us how the coffee comes out as a fine powder in the resevoir at the bottom. He explained that they grind the coffee to the finest setting, size zero, because they do not filter the coffee. Fatima came back and retrieved the grinder and went off to make herself some coffee. Or so I thought.

In reality, Fatima was making us some coffee. When she came back out 15 minutes later, she had a tray with a small pot of coffee, a smaller pot of milk, Bosnian sugar cubes (which were white sugar but had a finer texture and less processed taste than American sugar cubes, along with a cruder shape), a set of small espresso style cups and saucers and honey, of course.

While we continued to enjoy the afternoon, discussions moved to family and children. My neighbor and I dutifully shared photos of our only children, which inspired Fatima to go inside and retrieve a photo of her three daughters (who are grown) from when they were children. She tried to find the words in English to express some particular sentiment and when she failed, waited for Mehmed to come back out of the house to help her. Finally, when he returned, she was able to tell us what she couldn't before. The photo of her children, when they were perhaps between the ages of 4 and 8, was the only photograph that they were able to save from being burned in a fire in Bosnia.

I knew that there was a larger story there, but we were on the verge of leaving after staying for 2 1/2 hours and I wasn't ready to push into their past that much (see, I have some boundaries). I can only guess what kind of heartache they must have left behind when they came to the United States.

As we left, I realized that it was the most pleasant and fun afternoon I'd spent in a long time. I went home and made fresh biscuits the next morning so my son and I could enjoy the honey in a way that would honor the freshness of it.

There is something about getting a fresh product made in your local area that makes it inherantly better. I savor it, knowing that it was labored over by a neighbor, produced with care and affection. Every time I eat this honey, I see Mehmed, enjoying the companionship and work of caring for the bees in his yard. And it is sweeter with the memory.

Pizza Margherita

2009-05-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

From Gourmet magazine's January 2009 issue.

This pizza was full of simple flavors that got better the next day. If I could find some San Marzano tomatoes, I think I'll try those next time.

Pizza Margherita

yield: Makes 6 servings

active time: 35 min

total time: 1 3/4 hr (includes rising time)

The secret to a great pizza Margherita is to use the best ingredients you can find—and to approach them with restraint.

Ingredients:

For dough:

1 (1/4-ounce) package active dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoon)
1 3/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, divided, plus more for dusting
3/4 cup warm water, divided
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon olive oil

For topping:

1 (14-to 15-ounces) can whole tomatoes in juice
2 large garlic cloves, smashed
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 basil leaves plus more for sprinkling
1/4 teaspoon sugar
6 ounces fresh mozzarella, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices

Equipment: a pizza stone

Make dough:

Stir together yeast, 1 tablespoon flour, and 1/4 cup warm water in a large bowl and let stand until surface appears creamy, about 5 minutes. (If mixture doesn’t appear creamy, discard and start over with new yeast.)

Add 1 1/4 cups flour, remaining 1/2 cup water, salt, and oil and stir until smooth. Stir in enough flour (1/4 to 1/3 cup) for dough to begin to pull away from side of bowl. (Dough will be slightly wet.)

Knead on a floured surface, lightly reflouring when dough becomes too sticky, until smooth, soft, and elastic, about 8 minutes. Form into a ball, put in a bowl, and dust with flour. Cover with plastic wrap or a kitchen towel (not terry cloth) and let rise in a draft-free place at warm room temperature until doubled, about 1 1/4 hours.

Make tomato sauce while dough rises:
Pulse tomatoes with juice in a blender briefly to make a chunky purée.

Cook garlic in oil in a small heavy saucepan over medium-low heat until fragrant and pale golden, about 2 minutes. Add tomato purée, basil, sugar, and 1/8 teaspoon salt and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until thickened and reduced to about 3/4 cup, about 40 minutes. Season with salt and cool.

Heat pizza stone while dough rises:
At least 45 minutes before baking pizza, put stone on oven rack in lower third of electric oven (or on floor of gas oven) and preheat oven to 500°F.

Shape dough:
Do not punch down. Dust dough with flour, then transfer to a parchment-lined pizza peel or large baking sheet. Pat out dough evenly with your fingers and stretch into a 14-inch round, reflouring fingers if necessary.

Assemble pizza:
Spread sauce over dough, leaving a 1-inch border (there may be some sauce left over). Arrange cheese on top, leaving a 2- to 3-inch border.

Slide pizza on parchment onto pizza stone. Bake until dough is crisp and browned and cheese is golden and bubbling in spots, 13 to 16 minutes. Using peel or baking sheet, transfer pizza to a cutting board. Cool 5 minutes. Sprinkle with some basil leaves before slicing.

Cooks' notes:

•Dough can be allowed to rise slowly in the refrigerator (instead of in a warm place) for 1 day. Bring to room temperature before shaping.

•Tomato sauce can be made 5 days ahead and chilled.

Glenwood Springs

2009-04-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

Last week, we went to Glenwood Springs for a couple of days. It is known for their warm pool that uses the water from the springs. It was lovely. They have one large pool that is just nice 90-93 degree water and then they have a separate "therapeutic" pool which is about 10 degrees or so warmer than that. It was so relaxing.

We also hiked up to the old cemetery where Doc Holliday is buried. Here is the view of the town from the half way up the mountain.

And here are the markers erected for him. It was very interesting to see that many of the old markers included the number of years, months and days that the person lived. I guess they counted it down to the last day since they didn't live as long. The earth there is so red, my tennis shoes were caked with thick red clay.

Coyotes in the Night

2009-03-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight I hear so many dogs and coyotes calling that it's hard to count them.

Good news...and more good news!

2009-03-18T07:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, the first and best news: I don't currently have any signs of ARVD, so I'm off the hook for about 2 years. Two years isn't that long of a reprieve, but I'm so relieved to know that everything appears to be okay. It's like having a potential prison sentence delayed.

The second and still really good news: I have a date on Friday! I'm letting my hopes get too high this week that it might be a good date. However, the way I'm looking at it is, chances are, the date will end up sucking and the anticipation will have been the best part. So, I'm letting myself be giddy for 2 more days.

I have also selected a lender for my home purchase. I ended up talking to 6 people in total, and went with the one who I liked financially as well as personality-wise. I am going with Countrywide, which is in the process of being bought out by BofA.

I selected this gal because
1. she was friendly and not condescending
2. she was proud of the work she'd done for her other clients
3. she enjoyed telling me how she watches the rates very closely and locks in when they're at their lowest (she locked in some 4.25 rates back around Thanksgiving - the rate was only that low for about 30 minutes and she was on it!)
4. she says that she'll work with me on the closing costs to make them be what I need them to be
5. our personalities work well together
6. she brought in a rate among the lowest
7. it only helps that she says that BofA is buying them out - I always liked BofA
8. she is local and seems to know plenty about the business in this area

Shopping for a Mortgage

2009-03-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

This last week I have started to talk with lenders about a mortgage. I used Lending Tree and I also asked friends to refer me to their banks/brokers.

It has been an interesting process so far. I have received four responses and none of them are exactly alike. There are 30 year conventional loans, loans with origination fees, FHA loans, etc.

But, what I've learned a few things.

First, some brokers and lenders can get lower rates than others. Period.
I compared a conventional bank's rates for the same day to another lender's and saw a .375% difference. That is money - my money - and I care. If you can't get me the lowest rate, we probably won't play ball.

Second, rates change quickly (especially in this market).
If you have to get quotes, do yourself a favor and tell the lender, I would like to get a good faith estimate based on interest rates current at (date and time). That way, you can see what rates all of the places have, side by side. If you get some quotes one day, and then a few more a couple days later, the market may have changed enough that the rates are different for all of the lenders.

Third, the lender's fees are what you are really going to be comparing (right after the mortgage type, if you have points or origination fees).
This is the place on the estimate is referred to as the 800's. (All of the lenders fees fall onto lines in the 800 numbering range.) One lender might have fees of $1120 total, bottom line. Another might have fees of $1650. The only difference is that one is taking a bigger commission for themselves. Keep your good faith estimate, they should stick pretty close to these charges.

And last, don't be afraid to ask.
Ask questions, even if they make you uncomfortable. Ask what this fee is, and what exactly it's for. You will probably get an honest answer. If it's easier for you, I would recommend emailing the lender, so you can phrase things very nicely.

Wait, this will be last thing. If a lender doesn't have the right kind of customer service attitude - dump them.
There is simply no reason, especially in this market, for a person in a customer service oriented job to not offer good customer service. I don't like when people assume I know nothing or provide a half-assed quote because they can't be bothered.

The players so far in my quest for quotes are:
Cherry Creek Mortgage Corporation
Bank of the West
RMC Vanguard Mortgage Corporation
Southwest Direct Mortgage

Joining the game soon:
LendingLadies.com

House Shopping

2009-03-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

I'm going house shopping tomorrow!

Ok, realistically, I'm probably more condo/townhouse shopping, but hey, it's all good.

I've been waiting for this day to come for so long. I thought it would have come sooner, but I'm afraid I took a detour called marriage a while back.

I'm so excited! I know that the places I'll be looking at won't be too terribly beautiful or nice, but I don't care. I'm going to try to remember to take photos of the places for my memory, so maybe I'll post them up here. Just think, by the time my lease is up at the end of July, I could be the proud owner of my own little spot on earth.

And just to make sure I start my day off right, after I visit with my friends, I'm going to get a massage. I'm a very happy girl!

Cautiously Optimistic

2009-02-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

Well, another minor delay came yesterday in getting my diagnosis. The doc who was supposed to read my MRI results has been on vacation all week. My doctor didn't realize this until I was already in the office (had already paid my $50 copay, of course).

So, he called the hospital and someone else gave him the opinion that my results looked "perfectly normal." So, while I'm going to get an official answer from the guy who specializes in diagnosing this disease, it is still very reassuring to hear that another cardiologist thinks my results are normal.

I have this feeling of duality - I am relieved but also keep thinking, "Are you sure?" I guess it's disbelief.

Once I get the all clear next week, I will rejoin my gym, try to cut back on eating so many frozen pizzas and try to get out of the funk I've been in.

Right now (smiles), everything is good.

Finally - finding love again

2009-02-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

I realized recently that I've begun to find love again. I'm starting to see the good in the world all the time.

I think I used to feel this way, but after going through a divorce (or maybe a better explanation is going through a not-so-great marriage) and then having a couple more men act like huge egocentric assholes, it's taken a while to regain this vision of the world (especially towards men).

I'm so glad it's back. Life is much more enjoyable with love in your heart.

Cardiac MRI

2009-02-24T17:24:00.000-08:00

I went in on Friday to get my cardiac MRI. When I got there, they had me use the restroom and change into a gown.

They asked me if I'd ever had an MRI before. I answered, no, and they responded, "So you decided to start with the longest one, huh?" I couldn't believe it, but it would end up lasting almost 2 hours. In the tube.

After they assured me that they were not kidding me, they explained the process in detail. They spoke in low, calm voices, as if I were a skitterish horse and might bolt at any moment.

Since the order was for a cardiac morphology with and without contrast, they put in an IV line before I was slid into the tube. I asked Siegrid what it was that they inject into me to allow the contrast. She said that it was a rare earth element, a metallic fluid.

Once in the tube, there was a computerized program that told you when to breathe in - hold your breath - and then, relax. I had to hold my breath for approximately 15-20 seconds at a time and got maybe 5-7 breaths in between. This lasted for about 1 1/2 hours. Then, they injected the fluid, and had me hold my breath for a full minute (I lasted about 2/3 of the time, then slowly released my breath).

I kept falling asleep (yes - in a tube with loud banging noises that made it so I had to wear ear plugs) for a half second at a time. Then I would start suddenly when the machine made a noise or the voice instructed me to 'breathe in.' I would hastily breathe in, trying to catch up, my heart beating a little too fast because I was caught off guard.

When it was all over, I was stiff from laying so still. I was so glad to be done, glad that they could see the results right when the test was happening, so they knew it was successful. Glad that soon, I would have some answer to the question running laps in my mind: am I at a higher risk of sudden death?

This Thursday, I will know.

Under the Influence

2009-02-19T15:17:00.000-08:00

I am under the influence. It's comical. I can see it clearly. I listen to a motivational/inspirational CD and I'm ready to conquer the world (I guess that means they're doing the job, right?). I read a story of someone who defies the odds and I want to, too.

I guess that my response is normal. The only thing that isn't exactly average is the pain the butt character trait that runs in my family. The desire to make money. To somehow break out of the regular 9 to 5 lifestyle, and live free...traveling and dining and kissing the cutest guys. Ok, the last part is an embellishment, but I want it still.

So, my sister got me going this time. She told me about a book she's reading (it's on my hold list at the library now) called the Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.

So, since I knew I would be waiting for his book for a while, I decided to check out his website. People who write books like this always have a website. And usually, the website is full of free, helpful information. Tim's website is definitely like this. He writes about all sorts of things: recommendations for becoming more efficient and effective, travel, how to lose weight or gain muscle, etc.

One of the ideas that I like is the definition of New Rich. I'm not sure who originally coined this phrase, but it's a concept that I'm sure will ring true with many.

It's not the millions of dollars that I'm after. It's the flexibility in my time, the ability to go travel, having a nice car, owning a home and financial security that I really want. That a a drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend who worships the ground I walk on.

And Tim talks about defining what you want and determining what it would cost to get exactly what you want. And, amazingly enough, it is less expensive than you think to get everything you want - if you go about it the right way.

I recommend his website to anyone looking for a new take on life. His own life stories are interesting to read and often times very entertaining. Check out the From Geek to Freak page. The title alone makes me laugh.

Postponed, AKA Dealing with Insurance Companies - Yech!

2009-02-17T14:33:00.000-08:00

I was all set to go to my cardiac MRI this morning. My doctor's office had called me last week to tell me that the insurance company said no precertification was required. But the hospital wasn't buying it. Apparently, this type of procedure always requires precertification. So, they called my insurance company to get it.

Long story short, I got involved this morning, found at least one more problem and had to reschedule my appointment to Friday.

What a pain. However, since I'm battling a bit of a cold/sore throat/sinus issue, I thought, perhaps it's better that I'm not trying to stay still in a tube.

On a brighter note, my dinner on Valentine's Day was excellent. Medium rare steak, cooked to perfection, haricots verts, and baked potatoes with butter and sour cream. Delish!! Add in some limoncello and life was excellent.

Robotic Once More

2009-02-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

I went back to my doc's today. I kept sensing all sorts of small ironies about my visit. I would ramble on about them, but even I think that they're better left unsaid - they probably wouldn't make much sense to anyone else anyway.

I had an echo done (basically an ultrasound of the heart), and the technician was nice enough to tell me that everything looked good. My mitral valve prolapse hadn't changed, in fact it was very minor that she wasn't sure that she'd even call it that. It was wonderful to hear that.

I also had the Holter monitor reapplied (this time with pads for folks with sensitive skin - nothing like removing a bunch of stickers from your body after wearing them for two days, only to look like a terrible circular sucking leech has gotten ahold of you). I'll wear it again for 2 days.

Erin, the nurse applying the Holter, told me that they'd gone through and checked all of the cards in the monitors since mine had failed. She said it was rare for that to happen, and was apologetic. Somehow, I told her, it doesn't make me feel any better to know that I'm going against the odds, considering the odds of the disease we're looking at.

She also mentioned (like several of my coworkers) that Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I told her the same thing I'd told my coworkers. Ugh. Valentine's Day is a black holiday for single people.

Unless I can meet someone - anyone!! - to catch my interest in the slightest. I wonder where, statistially speaking, the best place is to meet a single guy on Valentine's Day?

"For as much as I've been showing my boobs...

2009-02-10T17:15:00.000-08:00

in the last two weeks, I wish I were getting laid."

That was what I said to the two girls placing the sticky leads on my body for the SAECG this afternoon.

SAECG stands for signal averaged electrocardiogram, which is basically like a regular ECG (or EKG as some folks know them), but in a high-def kind of way.

I went down to University of Colorado Hospital, a big sprawling place, which looked pretty new. They are about 45 minutes away from me, but apparently, since this test is so rarely given, they're the only place around with the machine anymore.

I asked how often they performed the test and they said about once or twice a month. In fact, I think the reason that I had two nurses there was because one was learning how to do it because she'd never seen it before. And they said they'd been working together for a long time.

This was the third test out of the five that my doctor ordered for me. I did a stress test on Monday (I told my boss, I don't need a test, I can tell them - I'm stressed!). The nurse told me all through it that my heartbeat looked good and my blood pressure was good. My pulse did get up to over 180 bpm, which was pretty darn fast. But after I sat down, I could feel that I was having a lot of irregular heartbeats and could see them being recorded on the machine. My nurse didn't make any comments after that.

I have my echo on Friday and my MRI scheduled for Tuesday and then I'm done. By Wednesday next week, I should have a good idea of whether or not I have the heart disease in question. It's like Christmas in reverse. The waiting is so hard and I want time to go by faster, but I'm afraid of what I might find on the other side of this week.

I Feel Like a Robot!

2009-02-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

I went to my doc's office yesterday and got a Holter monitor placed on me. It basically consists of 5 leads (just stickers, with really good adhesive) placed on your chest in varies spots and then wires connected to them that join together into one plug and go into a small device. The computer device is about 4.5 x 3 x 1 inches in size and right now it sits in my jeans pocket.

It will record all of my heart activity for about 48 hours, at which point, I'll remove it and it will shut off. There is a small button on the top that I press whenever I feel like my heart is doing something funny, which kind of highlights that area in the readout to bring it to the doc's attention.

When they first put it on me, I was feeling very self conscious. It felt like someone was watching me and it was difficult to relax. I hesitated on pressing the button (I've learned that I have issues with expressing when I feel funny/bad, like I shouldn't tell others) initially, but now just go ahead, figuring, it won't hurt if they don't see anything special. Yesterday, the wires hung below the hem of my shirt and I felt like a robot, accidentally exposing my terrible android secret to the lowly humans surrounding me - would they rise up and kill me?

So far, I've managed not to pull off any of the leads, even in my sleep. I only have to wear it until tomorrow around 1pm. Thank God. Because I need to shower!! I can't stand having to skip a shower if I've sweated and we've been having glorious weather for a couple of days. Which means I've perspired. One day down, one more to go.

You Smell Good Enough To Eat...

2009-02-05T13:48:00.001-08:00

Literally.

Anybody who knows me knows that I have an extreme fondness for cheeseburgers. I don't know exactly why, but they are heaven when they're good.

So imagine how much this tickled my funny bone when I saw it:

Yes. You too can smell like a flame broiled Whopper, courtesy of Burger King. Only $3.99, it can be found at Ricky's.

ARVD Dr. Visit #1

2009-02-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

I went in to see my cardiologist for our initial visit. I was pleased with my experience.

Dr. Oza had me explain my family history leading up to my trip to talk to him. He was very thorough, asking for copies of autopsy reports and anything else that I might mention while I told the story.

He then told me what his experience is with ARVD. He has about 10 patients out of his entire clinic that have ARVD. He said that this number is a very low percentage of his patients (which is good that he told me, since I have no baseline). He says that he probably has more than anyone else in the Boulder area because they are all referred to him. (This is comforting.)

He told me what approach he would like to take (which basically matched the recommendations from Johns Hopkins). He told me that he'd like me to do a bunch of tests and then evaluate them, using contacts from Tucson (another place where they specialize in the disease) to confirm the findings, whatever they may be. He also said that if I wasn't comfortable with that, that he would be happy to provide a referral to either Johns Hopkins or UofA in Tucson.

So, I have four appointments already set up (echo, stress test, 48-hour Holter monitor, follow-up visit with Dr. Oza) and two more to schedule (SAECG and cardiac MRI). I have to get everything done by 2/18, when I go back to see my doctor for a follow up visit.

I mentioned to him that once I started to discover that I'd need to undergo testing, I'd stopped going to the gym (I was going 5-6 times a week) and stopped drinking my one lousy cup of coffee that I enjoy each day. He smiled, told me to go ahead and drink my coffee. But not to go to the gym until we have figured all of this out. I knew that, but it still freaked me out to hear him say that. I just feel like I'd been taking my life into my hands with every trip to the gym and I never even knew it. Oh well, I guess that's life...it's more about what you don't know than what you do.

When is exercise not a good thing? When you have ARVD.

2009-01-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

About 8 years ago, my grandmother died. She had smoked and drank her whole life (always had a Bud in her coozee), so nobody was surprised when they said she had a heart attack. And my grandpa said it was a blessing in disguise because they'd found cancer in several places as well.

Last August, my cousin Donna died. Suddenly. At age 40, leaving behind a husband and children that she'd home schooled. When we heard about this - we were all shocked. After all, Donna was only 9 years older than me, a young person still.

When her sister Robyne started to look into her sister's cause of death, listed as ARVD or arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia (with mitral valve prolapse listed as a contributing factor), she learned that it is a genetic disease, inherited from a parent. Of course, this meant a lot more investigation and testing to see if Robyne was affected, too.

When she started to do research, our Aunt Terry pulled out grandma's autopsy report and told Robyne what was listed as the COD. Arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia. If we had known and been tested 8 years ago, Donna would still be here.

ARVD is a rare heart disease that causes fatty or fibrous tissue to develop where normal heart muscle should be. The abnormal tissue interrupts the electrical impulses being sent to your heart, telling your heart to beat. It is a progressive disease (gets worse with time) and about 75% of the people who have the disease will develop symptoms (which is a really high number). Everyone who carries the disease, which doesn't discriminate between the sexes, has a 50% chance of passing it on to their children. Again, this is a very high number and not very comforting.

Because having an arrhythmia greatly affects the chance that your heart might misfire, there are particular things you are told not to do. Exercise, or other strenuous activity is the first thing they eliminate. If you've ever heard stories of a healthy 20 or 30 something who suddenly dropped dead, this is probably the disease the killed them. Caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and even cold medications are limited.

To diagnose the disease, a person would undergo about 6 noninvasive tests. There is no one definite test that can be performed to tell if you have ARVD. Rather, it is a set of symptoms and indicators taken as a whole that diagnose it.

The most common treatment for a person with ARVD is to be put on a beta blocker and have an internal cardiac defibrillator (ICD) installed in their chest.

My cousin Robyne had it confirmed - she has the disease. She was put on beta blockers and just had an ICD installed.

My sister and I will be going through all of these same tests to see if we, too, have this disease. As it stands now, I was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse and PVCs a couple of years ago. I can only think of Donna's autopsy and how mitral valve prolapse was a "contributing factor." And how PVCs are a symptom of ARVD.

It changes your whole perspective on life. You feel like you might drop dead at any second. It's difficult to go to sleep, especially when your heart is beating erratically from the stress. You feel every heartbeat thudding and wonder if it's going to stop suddenly. And if it does, will you have time to dial 911?

I have cancelled my gym membership, until I get this all straitened out. I find myself wondering...do I buy a house or do I run away to Europe to enjoy life before it's gone?

I think of the words I recently read in a book - I can't die now. I haven't even lived yet.

Anatomy of a Romance Novel

2009-01-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

I've been reading some romance novels lately. I find their structure and patterns reassuring with their predictability.

I decided that I should write down a few of the things that I've started to recognize in romance novels for my future reference. I wonder what it is like to write a book. I like writing in general, but find the idea of writing a full length novel or any sort daunting.

Nonetheless, here are my observations to date.

1. There is a strong female heroine. (I believe that this may be because more women than men read romance books and it is more appealing to women to have their character written as smart, attractive and brave - usually to a fault.)

2. The men are hot. (Why else would we read them, right?)

3. The men are usually macho, strong (physically and mentally), but also have something that needs to be healed. And of course, the heroine in the story is the only one who can heal him.

4. There is usually some big obstacle that one of the main character's must accept about their lover, and their lover is terrified that their partner either a. won't believe it or b. won't accept it and will therefore leave them. (They never do.)

5. The sex is always the best, most mind blowing sex they've ever had. (But I've realized it doesn't sound too different activity-wise than the sex I've ever had in my life.)

6. There has to be a situation where they face losing each other because of forces outside of their control.

I can't think of any more right now...I'll update this list later if I can recall anything else.

Obtaining a Salvage Title in Colorado

2009-01-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

I am living through a very interesting experience. I brought a car from California to Colorado

Green Chili

2009-01-21T06:33:00.001-08:00

There are certain recipes that I've always wondered about. Wondered if I'd ever really make them or know what makes them so dang tasty (especially when there are lots of variations).

Green chile is one of those meals that have been an enigma to me. Maybe it's just because I've never been around someone who would cook this type of food, maybe not.

I have a coworker who is quite the dynamic man. He is a tall, slightly older, masculine guy with a sarcastic and, at times, pun-filled sense of humor. He looks like he might ride Harley's (and does) and doesn't like to take too much crap from people. On the other hand, he loves his wife and loves to cook, especially spicy foods.

Last week, he brought in a little bit of green chile and shared with me. It was the second time he's done this, probably because he knows what a food nut I am. So, at lunch, I asked him how to make it. And I loved his answer.

He told me how to make it, exactly, well, sort of. There were no measurements, just the process and ingredients. But my brain really likes this sort of recipe. I understand it, so it sticks with me longer and easier. So, forgive me if I don't give exact measurements. Perhaps in the end you will understand green chile just like me, which is even better than a perfect recipe.

1 pound meat:
I like pork, but basically, the rule is that you want to find about 1 pound of meat that will be fairly tender after being pan sauted and then stewed for about 30 minutes. Because I couldn't find a small pork butt/shoulder roast, I settled for a pork ribeye roast. It cost me about $7 at Walmart for a 2.25 lb roast. I cut off just under half of the roast to use for my chile and threw the rest in the fridge for another dinner.

Cook meat and then cook onions (1 small chopped), garlic (2-3 cloves minced):
I trimmed the big fat and cubed the meat. I cooked the meat over medium heat in my dutch oven, in a little bit of vegetable oil to prevent sticking. Once it was browned, I took the meat out and set it aside, added a bit (2 tablespoons) more veggie oil and threw in one diced small onion and a few cloves of minced garlic. Cook until the onion is softened a bit, but don't burn the garlic.

Add jalapeno, spices; then add flour for a roux:
Add in one chopped jalapeno, some oregano, a tiny bit of cumin, salt and pepper. Next, add in a couple of tablespoons of flour and cook until the raw taste of the flour is gone, but don't darken the roux.

Add stock, crushed tomatoes, chiles:
Next, add in about 1-2 cups of chicken stock (depending on how thin you like yours, I only did one cup and figured I could add more if I wanted it later), a can of crushed/diced tomatoes and your chiles. I used a package of roasted, peeled, seeded and chopped chiles from Walmart...they were in the freezer section and they cost $3.50 for 30 ounces. I used half the bag in my stew. Stir the bottom of your pot with your wooden spoon to get the nice fond up off the bottom (the brown coloring and bits stuck to the bottom of your pot from cooking the meat and stuff).

Add the meat back in and simmer for about 30 minutes or so, until the meat is tender and tastes a little more like the stew.

It is a very nice basic recipe that you could alter very easily, depending on your tastes.

Eat, Pray, Love

2009-01-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

I think they could replace the title of the book I'm reading from Eat, Pray, Love to Fast, Slow, Slower.

This book is broken into 3 parts and perhaps it's my own enjoyment of the topic in the first section that made it more enjoyable. The author decides to take a year's journey, going first to Italy, then to India and finally to Indonesia. The reason? She is unhappy in her life after a difficult divorce and the realization that she doesn't want the things she thought she was supposed to want (kids, etc.). She has started to explore a spiritual side of herself and finally decides to make the trip.

The first leg of her trip, in Italy, is to spend 4 months experience pleasure. If you take into account that she's sworn off sex at the time, I think you could revise her goal to be something like, make friends, learn Italian and eat lots of great food.

Then, she is going to India in order to find and explore her spirituality. She goes to meet her guru at her ashram. This is where it's starting to slow down a bit and frankly, lose my interest. I guess it doesn't help this author any that I've just read about 10 books that have action, drama, love, sex and vampires. (See what Twilight started?)

And lastly, she goes to Indonesia to live with a medicine man that she met there the year before, to learn how to join the two ideals: pleasure and spirituality.

I think that many people have loved this book. But, on the other hand, I think that many people have been like me and my friends. The book starts well and then slowly -SLOWLY- goes downhill to a point where all of the momentum is gone.

I will finish reading the book however, to give it a fair chance and a real review. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and have to amend what I've written. I certainly hope so (or it's going to be a boring week).

Where are all the cute guys in Colorado?

2009-01-18T07:54:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to miss the vacuum that I once lived in called Southern California. With the film industry, beaches and glorious year-round weather, the area attracted many very beautiful people.

At times it could be annoying. There were days that I knew if I never saw another blond with fake tits I'd die happier. But there were good sides, too. Like when you go to a restaurant and the waiter, host and cooks were all gorgeous. It would be dinner with a view.

Ever since I moved to Colorado, I find myself wondering if this is what the rest of America looks like. I can't help the fact that I'm not attracted the the guys that I've met here...but boy they want to take it out on my and tell me how shallow I am, etc. I would be more affected by these comments if they weren't talking to me based on the fact that they like my looks. Pot calling the kettle...well, you know.

I'm going to start spending some time in Boulder, because that seems to be a place that has more attractive folks. We'll see how that goes. Better than going to church and meeting someone and then admitting I'm a hypocrite.

Daydreaming for Mental Health

2009-01-16T09:14:00.000-08:00

I was thinking, trying to figure out what to write about today. Then I realized, what I'm really doing is daydreaming.

The next question in my head was, well, that's not so bad, right? I went to my main resource for research (the internet) and googled daydreaming. Within the first 10 webpages, there were multiple that were articles discussing the benefits of daydreaming. I glanced at a few and here is what they generally say:

Daydreaming helps you deal with problems and stress. It can help you find solutions to problems. It can help you maintain better relationships. It is the mind's natural state of being. Letting oneself have a little time to daydream results in higher productivity.

And one of the articles also mentions the fact that the guy who worked for 3M who created the Post-It note, daydreamed it up while sitting in church one Sunday.

I think I'll keep daydreaming and trust that the positive side effects will benefit us all.

The Gargoyle

2009-01-15T10:32:00.000-08:00

I've lived 1/3 of my life (if I'm lucky). I try not to think about how long I might live or how tenuous our grasp on existing sometimes proves to be, but one of the books I'm reading made me start pondering this again.

Last night, as I lay in bed, trying to tuck in a few more pages before I put the light out, I got to a section in my book that shook me. The character in my story, whom I don't really love or hate at this point, was in car crash (because of his hallucinations due to drugs and alcohol) and was burned very badly. He is found and taken to the hospital and there he is in the burn ward, with too much time on his hands and all-too painful procedures to endure.

So, he decides that all he is doing is playing along with the doctors, pretending that he cares about healing. While in reality what he's really doing is acting until he's well enough to be released, at which point he plans on killing himself. It's very early in the book, so I have to imagine that he doesn't end up doing that...besides there is an interesting plot development that I see coming.

But something that the character thinks about his currently planned impending doom got me thinking. I don't know if there is an afterlife, but one day, I'll get to find out. And that, more than anything else, terrifies me. Not enough to make me pretend that I believe in some imaginary afterlife to make myself feel better, but more than anything else I can think of.

First Attempt at Running

2009-01-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

I guess this is the second thing I've done this year that "scared" me. (The first was going on another internet date.)

My friend and I tried to run on the treadmills at the gym. I know, it sounds silly to be scared of running, but I was. I get worried that people will see somehow that I'm not a runner (and perhaps tell me what I'm doing wrong). I also worry that I'll be SO out of shape that my helpless panting will scare people into calling emergency medical personnel.

When it came down to it, I walked for 10 minutes, ran for 4 and a half minutes, walked for 5 more minutes, ran for 5 minutes and then walked for another 13 minutes. Total time was 37 minutes and I felt good when I stopped. I was sweaty and felt that good kind of tired. I am going to do this some more!!

This makes me feel better about adding the slight twist to my #1 New Year's resolution. Instead of simply not letting fear stop me from doing things, I want to do things that scare me. So I can train my brain and my body that it will be okay. Once my brain and body are retrained, I think I'll be able to face so many more scary challenges.

On one hand it sounds frightening, but I'm also so looking forward to some new found freedom.

Time for a new calendar

2009-01-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

Many times, especially now that I'm working, I don't care about having a regular wall calendar. But this year, I feel that I have enough going on that I'll need to be able to visually plan it all out.

I feel like I'm looking forward to certain things so much that I'm missing on living in the moment. Because what else do we really have in life but right now?

But even though I do believe that, I think that it's also important to have things to look forward to. I have asked some of my friends if they made New Year's resolutions, but once decided to ask someone, "What are you looking forward to this year?"

The answer surprised me. They didn't really know what they were looking forward to. Hmm. Huh. I don't get get it...? Seems like if you're not looking forward to anything it might mean that you don't have hopes or dreams. How could that be?

Random Thoughts

2009-01-12T21:29:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for giving me a happy ending. Now I can always imagine that I'm Bella and I have my Edward.

Fifty degrees tomorrow - ahhh, something to look forward to.

I want to have good dreams tonight. Dreams of hot weather on sandy beaches, a king sized bed and a big, strong man...knowing what occupation would be fulfilling.

Off to bed.

View from my window

2009-01-12T09:40:00.000-08:00

Here is the view from my window this morning.

First Date of 2009

2009-01-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went out on my first date of the new year. I met T online, by responding to his personal ad on Craigslist.

We went out for a cup of coffee. It was very interesting. He is about 1 inch shorter than me, and probably weighs less than me. He was friendly, but nervous and self conscious. I felt a little bad for him there, because for whatever reason, I felt very comfortable most of the time.

He is about my age but has lived a completely different life than me. He is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 3 years. He also quit smoking recently.

He was a little quirky, kind of a thinker, and definitely different than I was expecting. I learned on my first date from the computer (last year), that the best thing to do is not decide or tell each other if you want to see each other again. I think that you should wait until you go home, think about it, feel it out and see what your gut says.

I don't know if I would be romantically interested in T or not, but at least I know that I would be comfortable hanging out again. We'll see what he thinks. You never can tell.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Boy, there is a part of me that hates making resolutions. Maybe it's the simple fact that I've written some resolutions in the past and haven't necessarily followed through with them.

It's embarrassing to say the least, but I guess that I shouldn't let that stop me from trying again. Which brings me to my first resolution.

1. I will not let fear control my choices. (This one is an all encompassing subject. I could actually just leave the list at this one and feel like my bases are mostly covered.)

2. I will not avoid doing things out of laziness.

3. I will be open to change.

My list was actually a lot longer when I started writing them down this morning, but then as I typed, I realized that these 3 are all I need. I often wonder what it was in my younger life that made me who I am today.

I find that I sometimes think and rethink things and hesitate to take action because of fear. I become afraid of losing what I have, of looking stupid, of stepping outside my comfort zone. And I hate it.

One way or another, I am going to find a way to change my life. Now.

Somehow, "cold" just doesn't say enough

2008-12-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

Last night, at around 2:30am, the temperature in Denver was -19. Yes, that is correct, negative 19. When I left for work, it was -9. The high today was in the teens, until you factored in the wind chill, of course.

Holy crap, I never thought I could be so cold!!

I'm driving a new (to me) car, courtesy of my sister. It's so much better than my old car, but even this car couldn't get warm enough to melt the ice off the back windshield. The defroster was running, but heck, it's only a machine!

On Saturday, I baked a bunch (all day) with my neighbor. One of my friends came over and delivered a tree that she was giving me. I felt so special that she shared a tree with me, because it came from her yard and was one of about 10 that her dad had planted years ago. Her father passed away quite a while back (years), so it was a truly special gift.

I recently read the first two books in the Twilight series and loved them. I know I'm late to the game in reading these, but I'm glad I'm late. Here's why. I get to read a bunch of books in a row and don't have to wait! The second book I read in 2 evenings. I am on the waitlist at the library for the 3rd.

You might like these books if you love the feeling of being SO in love, like you'll just die if you can't have that person. It's very 15-years-old, but I just DON'T CARE! It's fun to have something young and fun to get me excited.

This Christmas, I'm really only shopping for my son. I decided early that I didn't want to exchange gifts with other people. Mostly because I just don't want to spend all the money and time. I'd rather visit with people and let them relax instead of trying to find some knick knack that I won't want to dust. It's funny how things change as you get older and start accumulating all the stuff you want.

My 'baby' turned 9 years old last week. Wow. It won't be long now. I'll blink and I'll be turning 40 and he'll be turning 18! I guess that's the way it goes. I better try to have more fun, and fast!

I'm looking forward to time off, but really just wish that my son and I both had the flu so we could skip school and work and stay home and cuddle up. Oh well, I better be careful what I wish for!

Buttery Soft Crescent Rolls

2008-11-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

Since my friend gave me a bread machine, I've been looking for and trying new recipes that use it. Many of the times when I've searched online, people say that they like to use the machine to make their dough, and then bake in their regular oven.

I started thinking about it and realized that this is a great idea. Mostly because my kitchen usually isn't warm enough in winter for dough to rise. And the other great thing, is that you can make all sorts of bread items, not just loaves of bread.

I found this recipe on Recipezaar...and my 8 year old son gives them 4 out of 5 stars. It was very simple and the rolls really get large when you bake them. They fluff up and have a nice buttery taste.

Buttery Soft Crescent Rolls

1/2 c. warm water
1/2 c. warm milk
1 egg
1/3 c. butter (softened)
1/3 c. white sugar
1 tsp. salt
3 3/4 c. all purpose flour
1 pkg (1/4 oz.) active dry yeast...about 2 1/4 teaspoons
1/4 c. butter (melted)

1. Place ingredients into bread maker in order recommended by manufacturer: water, milk, egg, 1/3 cup butter, sugar, salt, flour and yeast. Reserve additional butter butter (1/4 cup) for later.

2. Select dough/knead cycle and start. This cycle should mix dough and allow it to rise for 1 hour.

3. Turn dough out onto a floured surface and roll into a circle, about 1/4 inch thick. Brush with additional butter.

4. Cut into 16 pie shaped wedges. Roll wedges starting with wide end into crescent shapes.

5. Place on an ungreased baking sheet and allow to rise for an additional hour.

6. Bake for 10- 15 minutes at 375°F or until golden brown.

Making pasta using what's at hand...

2008-11-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I need to go grocery shopping. Really badly. You can tell when you open my refrigerator and see the back of it! So, when it was time to make dinner last night, I had to figure out something new.

I started with thin spaghetti, and the thought of olive oil and garlic. Then, I remembered that I had some spinach that needed to be eaten. It all took off from there.

Pasta with Garlic Spinach Cream Cheese Sauce

Boil your pasta in salted water till al dente.

Meanwhile, use about 1-2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil and saute your fresh spinach. I used about 3-4 cups (it really wilts down to nothing). When the spinach is almost all wilted, add in 1-2 cloves of chopped garlic. Add a half cup of chicken broth. Simmer, reducing by about half the liquid. Add in about 1/3 block of cream cheese. Stir until melted. Toss hot pasta in sauce. Serve!

Took a little advice and made something good...

2008-11-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

I took Ilva's advice and made something yummy for myself last weekend. I haven't been doing too much real cooking or baking lately, but my son perked up when I suggested that maybe we should bake a pie.

I used a couple of recipes from America's Test Kitchen...their all butter pastry for the crust and their recipe for Deep Dish Apple Pie. It turned out well, and I even liked it better cold!

All-Butter Pie Pastry

2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (12 1/2 ounces), plus additional flour for work surface
1 teaspoon table salt
1 tablespoon sugar
16 tablespoons unsalted butter (2 sticks), cold, cut into 1/2-inch cubes and frozen for 10 minutes
3 tablespoons sour cream
1/3 cup ice water , or more if needed

1. For Pastry: Process flour, salt, and sugar together in food processor until combined, about 3 seconds. Add butter and pulse until butter is size of large peas, about ten 1-second pulses.

2. Using fork, mix sour cream and 1/3 cup ice water in small bowl until combined. Add half of sour cream mixture to flour mixture; pulse for three 1-second pulses. Repeat with remaining sour cream mixture. Pinch dough with fingers; if dough is floury, dry, and does not hold together, add 1 to 2 tablespoons ice water and process until dough forms large clumps and no dry flour remains, three to five 1-second pulses.

3. Turn dough out onto work surface. Divide dough into 2 balls and flatten each into 4-inch disk; wrap each disk in plastic and refrigerate until firm but not hard, 1 to 2 hours, before rolling. (Dough can be refrigerated for up to 24 hours. Let thoroughly chilled dough stand at room temperature for 15 minutes before rolling.)

Deep Dish Apple Pie

Use a combination of tart and sweet apples for this pie. Good choices for tart are Granny Smiths,
Empires, or Cortlands; for sweet, we recommend Golden Delicious, Jonagolds, or Braeburns.
Wrap leftovers tightly in plastic wrap and store at room temperature for up to 24 hours. To reheat, remove the wrap and warm the pie in a 350-degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes.

1⁄2 cup (31⁄2 ounces) plus 1 teaspoon granulated sugar
1⁄4 cup (13⁄4 ounces) packed light brown sugar
1⁄4 teaspoon table salt
1 tablespoon juice and 1⁄2 teaspoon grated zest from 1 lemon
1⁄8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
21⁄2 pounds firm tart apples (about 5 medium), peeled and cut into 1⁄4-inch-thick slices (see note)
21⁄2 pounds firm sweet apples (about 5 medium), peeled and cut into 1⁄4-inch-thick slices (see note)
1 recipe Foolproof All-Butter Pie Pastry
1 egg white, beaten lightly

1. Mix 1⁄2 cup granulated sugar, brown sugar, salt, zest, and cinnamon in large bowl; add apples
and toss to combine. Transfer apples to Dutch oven (do not wash bowl) and cook, covered, over
medium heat, stirring frequently, until apples are tender when poked with fork but still hold
their shape, 15 to 20 minutes. (Apples and juices should gently simmer during cooking.) Transfer
apples and juices to rimmed baking sheet and cool to room temperature, about 30 minutes. While apples cool, adjust oven rack to lowest position, place empty rimmed baking sheet on rack, and heat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Remove 1 disk of dough from refrigerator and roll out between 2 large sheets of parchment
paper or plastic wrap to 12-inch circle, about 1⁄8 inch thick. (If dough becomes soft and/or sticky,
return to refrigerator until firm.) Remove parchment from one side of dough and flip onto 9-
inch pie plate; peel off second layer of parchment. Working around circumference, ease dough into plate by gently lifting edge of dough with one hand while pressing into plate bottom with other hand. Leave dough that overhangs plate in place; refrigerate until dough is firm, about 30 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, roll second disk of dough between 2 large sheets of parchment paper or
plastic wrap to 12-inch circle, about 1⁄8 inch thick. Refrigerate, leaving dough between parchment
sheets, until firm, about 30 minutes.

4. Set large colander over now-empty bowl; transfer cooled apples to colander. Shake colander
to drain off as much juice as possible (cooked apples should measure about 8 cups); discard
juice. Transfer apples to dough-lined pie plate; sprinkle with lemon juice.

5. Remove parchment from one side of remaining dough and flip dough onto apples; peel off
second piece of parchment. Pinch edges of top and bottom dough rounds firmly together. Following illustrations 1 through 4, trim and seal edges of dough, then cut four 2-inch slits in top of dough. Brush surface with beaten egg white and sprinkle evenly with remaining teaspoon sugar.

6. Set pie on preheated baking sheet; bake until crust is dark golden brown, 45 to 55 minutes.
Transfer pie to wire rack and cool at least 11⁄2 hours. Cut into wedges and serve.

Time flies...

2008-11-06T19:08:00.000-08:00

I guess that I must have been busy the last 2 months!

I have been thinking about so many things lately.

I went out on a few dates with a guy. They were fun, but it just didn't feel right. However, it did remind me that I want and need some sort of connection with a guy. Now, to find the right guy. And soon, I hope. The memories of the few kisses we shared makes me start daydreaming at work.

My car has been having issues off and on (yeck), and right now my muffler is hanging about 6 inches from the ground. I know this isn't good, but I think it is too rusted and old to be reattached, so if I take it in, they'll be selling me a new muffler. So, I haven't taken it in. This is on top of two front tires that keep losing air (and two flat tires about a month ago). Damn car.

My work has been pretty stressful as well. I am SO busy, too. Maybe I'll get lucky and next week will be slower.

A couple I know is having serious relationship problems and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. It's been more stressful than dealing with my own divorce.

I've been staying quiet around my friends because I'm just feeling a little stressed out and down lately. I wonder if it has to do with the arrival of the first cold days of autumn.

Well, this is kind of a blue note to finish on, but I guess that is appropriate.

Stuffed Tomatoes

2008-09-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

I will admit that I've never really thought that stuffed tomatoes looked very appetizing. But lately, I've been trying to eat better and that mostly means eating more veggies and fewer carbs (I LOVE carbs!).

My friend Mike at work brought me in several tomatoes and a fresh peach from his garden. I ate the peach at lunch - it was perfect. I brought the 3 tomatoes home, not knowing what I'd do with them. I've never been a huge tomato fan, but I've been enjoying them more as I've gotten older.

With my limited supplies (grocery shopping tomorrow is a must), I decided to make baked, stuffed tomatoes. From what I could tell by looking at other recipes online, stuffed tomatoes can contain anything you want. I saw some with ground beef, but I was looking for something simpler.

I used a 7 grain rice blend, crushed red pepper, basil, fresh garlic and cheese.

They were juicy, flavorful and filling. A vegetarian dinner that was delicious and satisfying.

Say what you want about me, but don't mess with my grill.

2008-09-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

The homeowners' association sent me a letter this weekend. Telling me to remove my grill from the property.

I'm pretty sure they're in the wrong, and cannot require me to remove the grill, but can make me remove the propane tanks (fine, I understand). And I am removing them.

But the thing that pisses me off is that I am pretty sure the HOA is retaliating against me for writing a letter for a neighbor. This particular neighbor is a disabled American and she needs to try to regain some of her small motor skills. One thing her doctor suggested was to garden. So, she had a little garden when I moved in last year. One day, she comes and tells me that she had to remove it all because the HOA sent her a letter stating that she couldn't have it. The garden was pretty cute, too.

So, the local office for disabled Americans told her that the HOA was violating her rights and interfering with treatment prescribed by her physician. So, the HOA lady (it's just one lady out to get people) finally relents and tells her she can put her plant stand back out front if it's okay with her neighbor...hence my letter. BUT then, after she sends my letter, she's told that she can't put any plants on it.

And about 2 months later, I get a notice about my grill. Mind you, I'm on the second floor and you can hardly see my grill. And, other people on the first floor have grills sitting on their patios. Ugh. I hate it when someone has no life and has to go about making others as miserable as possible.

Bee-otch.

Now, I'm waiting on my local fire department to get back to me so that I can confirm I'm in the right and send a written response. And, I think I'm going to have to start telling ALL of my neighbors about her tactics. I heard a rumor that another neighbor actually DID get rid of her grill when the HOA told her she had to. If I can help it, that will be the last person to make that mistake!

Mr. Men and Little Miss

2008-08-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

I love it when something you loved as a child (but has since disappeared) reappears. I could never remember what these guys were called, but when I was younger, I colored in Mr. Men Little Miss coloring books. With my wonderful scented markers. I liked them all except black (which was scented black licorice). I think I also used to have Colorforms for these guys, too!

Seems like there is a resurgence in popularity for these items. They have a website and other folks are selling stuff with their characters, too.

Quote of the Day

2008-08-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

-Unknown

How to eat smaller portions

2008-08-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

I've never been good at any form of dieting. To be honest, I don't really believe in dieting...you eat what you eat. If a diet is temporary instead of a permanent change to your way of eating, then any loss you may accomplish will most likely be lost when you resume your normal diet.

However, that being said, I'm trying to change how I eat. I need to add more green vegetables into my diet and I need to stop going back for seconds!

Today, I managed to eat the right amount of food at lunch. The trick? I measured out what I wanted to eat this morning (while I still had all sorts of noble ideas stuck in my sleep-riddled head) and took my lunch to work.

And ya know what? When you have no other food to go grab from the fridge...you stop eating. It's weird, but works. :)

But seriously, it was a relief to bring my own lunch to work, in the right portions, heavy with green veggies. I ate like a pig (always do), but in the end, hadn't sabotaged my inner self's desire to flatten, smooth and firm up particular body parts.

Of all the things to worry about!

2008-08-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

I had a dream this week that I was with a man. The dream was going along and was good. That is, until I kissed him.

It was terrible. The kiss was a lot of bumping teeth and lips that didn't connect. It was terrible!

I actually woke the next morning wondering if that's what my next kiss would be like. If I weren't a little nervous about dating before (I was), then I would be after that dream!

What a strange thing to worry about, I think. I guess it's just another way that I'm worried that I am out of practice or somehow not good enough for the ideal man I'm chasing. I know that's silly, but I guess those little insecurities sometimes pop up.

Besides, Mr. Right will fit me just great. I know it!

Reading Like a Fiend

2008-08-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

I started to think this morning about all the books I've read in the last 10-12 months. From what I can remember:

In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote
East of Eden, by John Steinbeck
To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
Digital Fortress, by Dan Brown
Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon (re-reading this series)
Dragonfly in Amber, by Diana Gabaldon
Voyager, by Diana Gabaldon
Drums of Autumn, by Diana Gabaldon
The Fiery Cross, by Diana Gabaldon (in progress)

First day down!

2008-08-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

So, I went in and did my first day at the gym. Sam showed me how to use the circuit training machines and I did a circuit. It was pretty quick and easy!

I learned that my arm muscles are much weaker than I thought! My legs did much, much better. Tomorrow I'm going to try an elliptical machine and do my calves & abs again.

I'm so glad to get over the first time, and to feel a little more comfortable there than when I first walked in. I'll have to try to remember to weigh myself tomorrow. Not that I'm trying to lose a bunch of weight or anything, but just that I'm curious. I don't own my own scale and so I usually only find out how much I weigh once a year at my annual physical.

It has been cold and rainy all day today! It is awesome. Considering that Monday it was about 90 plus degrees, and that today it has been in the 50s and 60s, it has been a bit of a shock. But a good one. We've had a lot of hot days this summer, so I'm really loving my first early taste of fall.

Exercise, here I come!

2008-08-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

I signed up for a one week trial at a local gym. The trial week starts tomorrow.

I've been thinking about this for a while, but just hesitated about actually doing it. I'm not sure how other people feel, but I have a certain amount of fear associated with going to a gym and learning all the machines and being around other people who know what they're doing.

I'm not sure where this fear came from, but it's time for it to go! I have a goal of going to the gym at least 3 times in the next week, starting tomorrow. If I end up liking it, I will sign up for a monthly membership until I feel like I can make a 6 month commitment.

White Lasagna

2008-08-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

White lasagna is one of those foods that I've always wanted to try making, but never have. Until now.

I have friends coming over for dinner tomorrow night and I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what to make. My friends are awesome, a really nice couple who are fun to hang out with. Their house is so cute and designed in a style that I love (it's like straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog). They have hosted the last few times we've gotten together.

They like food, but their tastes are pretty simple. When I thought back to the last few meals at their place, they included steak, steak, hamburgers and tacos. I started asking them about their likes and dislikes so I could figure out what to make.

Their dislikes between the two of them include eggplant, raw onions, citrus, mushrooms and raw tomatoes. And those are just the ones that my friend thought of when we were talking.

So, I'm trying to play it pretty safe because I want them to be happy with the food. But I also wanted to try making something new and different, partly for me and partly for them.

This white lasagna recipe includes chicken, spinach, mozzarella, Parmesan cheese, ricotta cheese and a white sauce made from butter, onions, garlic, milk, chicken broth, mozzarella cheese and Parmesan cheese.

The other thing I'm going to make is Caesar salad, with fresh dressing. We'll see how much anchovy I can sneak into the dressing without making it too fishy.

I'll post some pics of the finished products and report on whether or not they liked the food.

Survival Italian

2008-08-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

That's the name of a book I've borrowed from my local library. It covers the basics, simple stuff you'd need to get by in Italy.

Which makes me wonder, is there a Survival Dating?

I actually asked my neighbor's 13-year-old daughter where to go to meet cute guys. She replied, "The mall?" So, I asked, well if I see a cute guy at the mall, how do I meet him? She said, "Drop your purse?"

Which, of course, reminded me of the "bend and snap" scene from Legally Blonde!

After doing some searching on Amazon, I realized that there are a ton of books out there that I might do good to read. Everything from, Why Men Marry Bitches to How to Be a Super Hot Woman to Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE. There are Christian versions of dating books. There are books with commanding titles, such as The Rules.

As for me, I'm going to check out How to Be a Super Hot Woman. I'll let you know when the boys start banging down my door!

My Favorite Food Porn

2008-08-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

I love beautiful pictures of food.

To imagine what flavor might flow forward upon consumption, what texture might surprise you. A picture leaves all the right things up to your imagination. What I imagine probably tastes better than the reality a lot of times!

My favorite place to spot food lately is someplace I stumbled upon, called TasteSpotting.

If you love seeing beautiful food and get inspired to cook based on photos (like me!), you should check it out.

Ahh, now I understand.

2008-08-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

I've tried baking bread several times, with moderate success. I love my hardwood bowl and wooden mixing spoons. I have read the 10 Tips for Better Bread post that Farmgirl Fare posted in 2005. I would have assumed that I'd be a purist at heart, because of my love of the special, the artisinal, and the handmade.

Then, my friend gave me a bread machine.

I didn't know if it even worked, so my son and I tried it out yesterday. We used a recipe for French bread that came in the manual. I measured and dumped ingredients in. I pushed a button. And I walked away.

Three and a half hours later, the bread machine beeped three times and I had fresh bread.

My house smelled good and the bread had a good crunchy crust on it. I wasn't cooking tons of fresh bread by hand before, and now....I'm not sure when I'll do it again!

I'm on the hunt for recipes to use in the machine. I've found a few that I want to try so far.

Now I think I understand the appeal of bread machines.

Sausage Meatball Subs

2008-07-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

When I was a teenager, I liked going to Subway occasionally to get a meatball sandwich. But sometime between then and now, I realized that the Subway sandwiches I thought were okay, really weren't that tasty.

Perhaps my palette became more refined...maybe their food got worse? I'd like to think that it's the former and not the latter.

So, I always figure that if you have a very specific taste memory in mind, you need to go recipe hunting. I was lucky enough not to have to look too far. I found this recipe on my favorite site for recipes, Allrecipes.

I recommend finding a sharp provolone for topping these...mozzarella doesn't seem to be strong enough to taste compared to the meatballs. Also, the bread is a very important factor. You'll need to find one that crusty enough to stand up to being gnawed on, but tasty enough to bring something to the party. Fresh baked is a MUST.

INGREDIENTS

1 pound Italian Sausage Roll
1/2 cup oatmeal
2 eggs
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 (26 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
6 hoagie buns (try a good baguette!)
6 tablespoons grated mozzarella cheese (I recommend sharp/aged provolone instead)

DIRECTIONS

In bowl, combine sausage, oatmeal, eggs and Parmesan cheese. Shape into 1 inch balls. In skillet over medium heat, cook meatballs until browned and cooked through. Reduce heat to low. Add spaghetti sauce and cook until sauce is hot. Spoon meatballs and sauce into buns and top with mozzarella cheese.

Meme to Revive the Nonblogger

2008-07-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Michelle over at The Accidental Scientist has been kind enough to keep me in mind. Even though I haven't blogged much this year (and very little of my blogging has been about food), Michelle reminds me of the connections I first made when I started blogging a few years ago.

This meme is a getting-to-know-you type, so here goes, for anyone who's interested in reading!

1. Last movie I saw in the theater?
Wall-E. It was different than I had expected, but enjoyable over all. The most notable thing about this movie was that something in it touched my son and made him sad. As we were walking out of the theater, up the little ramp, he started to cry. He wouldn't (or couldn't) explain it to me, but he did acknowledge that it was the movie. It was the first movie that's ever made him cry.

2. What book are you reading?
Well, last night I just finished reading Drums of Autumn by Diana Gabaldon. It's a book in a series and the whole series is wonderful. I'm also in the process of reading How Full is Your Bucket and Digital Fortress.

3. Favorite board game?
Hmmm. I like a few that I've tried in the last year, thanks to my sister. Circus Flohcati is fun. I also like Incan Gold.

4. Favorite magazine?
Wow. I don't think I could pick just one. I love a variety of food magazines, but my favorite probably changes...depending on who's got the most mouthwatering pics. Right after food magazines, my favorite is probably GQ. That's because I'm single, ladies. And if you still don't understand, go flip through a copy next time you're at the store. It's wonderful.

5. Favorite smells?
I agree with Michelle on one of my favorites...bread! Other favorites include sweet peas (flowers), citrus and the ocean air.

6. Favorite sounds?
My son's breath while he sleeps. Nothing much compares to that one.

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Not being able to help my son when he's gotten hurt.

8. First thing you think of when you wake?
What time is it?! Hurry, get up, close the shades and turn on the fan to bring in as much cool air as possible before the sun comes up and brings the heat!

9. Favorite fast food place?
Easy. In-N-Out.

10. Future child's name?
Not applicable. I stopped having kids when I reached perfection. His name is Evan. :)

11. Finish this statement: If I had a lot of money...
I would travel the world in style and then settle down to try my hand at a neighborhood restaurant. My goal would be to win an award for best local cheap eats.

12. Do you drive fast?
Gosh, I'm not sure. My current car doesn't really have the ability to drive fast! I'll let you know when I get a better car!

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nope. That bed is mine, all mine. If only it weren't a twin!

14. Storms, cool or scary?
Cool. Love rain, thunder and lightning. As long as I'm not out in it!

15. What was your first car?
A 1980 Volkswagen Rabbit. I can remember one time when I went to open the little triangle window on the driver's side door and it fell out! Clank-clank-clank! on the street. I was so embarrassed (good thing it was late at night), but when I went back to get it, it hadn't even chipped. I got some metal to glass glue and fixed it.

16. Favorite drink?
Ok, I realize now that I'm terrible at picking out favorites. Especially when it deals with food. It all depends on the mood. I like a nice beer on a hot summer day. A glass of wine with a good meal. I need my one cup of coffee each morning (for ritual more than anything else). I love green tea in winter. Bloody mary's rock, too!

17. Finish this statement - "If I had time, I would.."
Finish school.

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Yes, that's the best part! I like the stems and stalks.

19. If you could dye your hair any other color, what would it be?
When I was younger I dyed my hair many different colors (what a blast), and it gave me the knowledge that, ultimately, I like my own hair color was so much better than what comes out of a bottle.

20. Name all the different cities in which you have lived.
Naples, Italy; San Francisco, CA; Jacksonville, FL; El Toro, CA; Ponte Vedra Beach, FL; Costa Mesa, CA; Tustin, CA; Scottsdale, AZ; Newport Beach, CA; Burbank, CA; Superior, CO (by the way, it was so distinctly NOT superior); Louisville, CO

21. Favorite sport to watch?
Basketball. Then tennis.

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you.
She has done one of the harder things that a friend needs to do, she keeps in touch and keeps reminding me of the folks and foods that are out there.

23. What's under your bed?
Moving boxes. Apparently, according to #20, I better be prepared to move, because you never know when I'll do it again!

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I feel lucky in my life, but I would want to try a new adventure.

25. Morning person or night owl?
At this point in my life I'm probably not "better" at either one. I think that I enjoy my mornings now more than I have in the past, though.

26. Over easy or sunny side up?
The whites must be cooked all the way. Although I'd usually rather skip the eggs altogether.

27. Favorite place to relax?
Home. Although I'd rather change this one to "my vacation home in Tuscany!"

28. Favorite ice cream flavor?
I am not sure that I have one! But I do really like when you get mochi ice cream at sushi restaurants.

29. Of all the people you've tagged, who is most likely to respond first?
I've been out of blogging so long, I can't think of who I can tag!!

Because I know that she still blogs occasionally, I'll reach out to my sister Steph to do this meme. She loves food with the same kind of crazed enthusiasm as me. And I always know that I can trust her taste. She is always off on some kind of adventure, trying something new.

BTW, Steph, you should tag 4-5 bloggers (if you can!)...

Favorite New Toy: My Grill

2008-06-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

I bought a grill two weekends ago. I found it on Craigslist and it was more money than I wanted to spend. However, it was a far superior grill than I ever thought I could buy.

It is a Vermont Castings grill, with a lovely dark blue enamel cover and lower portion, stainless steel all over, and enamel covered cast iron grates.

And I'm in love with it!

I always cooked on a charcoal grill before. The flavor and heat is wonderful with charcoal, but the time to prepare the coals and the mess they create can cause a little more work overall.

With propane, all you have to do is twist on the gas, turn on a burner and twist the starter. Voila! A fire is started.

Since I bought it 9 days ago, I have cooked cheeseburgers, chicken, steak, portobello mushrooms and zucchini. Tonight I'll use it to cook some pork chops.

I'm so in love with my new grill!!!

The Fastest Passport Ever

2008-06-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

I applied for my passport Friday before last, on May 30th. Eight days later, on Saturday June 7th, I received my passport.

I didn't pay for expedited service, but apparently with travel prices the way they are, I'm the only one who's applying for a passport. It rocked!

When I put in my passport application, it sort of encompassed a lot of my dreams and hopes for my future. The guy at the post office asked me when I needed it by, and I told him that I had no plans for travel.

What I have is dreams of future travel, especially with that special someone. I have hopes for exploring and learning, and seeing and doing. And without that passport, I can't do so many of those things.

So, fate, I am now ready to meet that special someone. I welcome the love that the universe has to give me (god, I sound like I've been living near Boulder too long)...send him my way...preferably in a very nice package!

Good Dreams

2008-05-17T06:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I was having such good dreams. I was getting what I wanted, or more precisely, I was about to get what I wanted.

In one of my dreams, I was taken to an indoor marketplace that housed multiple businesses. Inside there was an amazing Korean restaurant. The menu was amazingly extensive, and you could tell the food would be amazing.

In another of my dreams, I was talking to someone about college. They were commenting that they thought they could help me pay for college. Then they put me on the phone with another person who could also help me pay for college.

I rarely have good dreams, let alone awesome dreams about things like this. And since I've been watching BSG (I finished season 3 last night...it took all of 1 1/2 weeks to watch), I find myself wondering if visions really are possible. Or hoping that they are.

I guess I better keep my eyes open for these opportunities!

Motivation!

2008-05-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

I think that I've just discovered the best motivation ever for getting my degree.

I hate being a secretary. Most of the time, people are very nice and don't look down on you, but I'm facing the most difficult thing right now, where I feel that my opinions are not valued and that I am being looked down upon. By my boss.

He doesn't go out of his way to be rude or anything like that. Normally we get along swimmingly well. But little things here and there remind me that a person in my job can expect to be disregarded from time to time from people like him.

I feel so pissed off right now, just frustrated really. But again, this is really the motivation that I need to make myself get the degree that I want. Just so that I can do something completely different and never have to be the low man on the totem pole.

Plus, it doesn't help that I'm always the lowest educated and employed person in almost all social groups I've been in since I moved to Colorado. It is a highly educated area and I feel it.

Ok, enough whining!

College

2008-05-11T06:31:00.000-07:00

So, I'm having a little dilemma. I realized this week that I could take college classes and finish my college degree in the next three years (while I work) and even be able to afford it. The catch? It would be a degree in either Social Science, Sociology or Sociology/Criminology.

I have always figured that I'd study business. Not because I have a particular career path that I'm dying to follow. But just because I have a lot of experience in offices and figured it would be a natural, especially since I don't know what I want to do.

But, there are a few reasons I haven't returned to college yet. I work full time, and taking classes at my local college/university would take forever, because I could only really sign up for maybe 2 classes at a time because of work. I also have my son half of each week and studying when he's here will be more difficult, so my studying will be isolated either to late evenings or the half of the week I'm alone. The cost is another reason I've been hesitant. But, the university that I can do an "external degree" from would only cost me about $11K plus books to complete my the rest of my degree.

I think that is pretty good, considering it's the only option that I could start pursuing while my son is this young. I've also been waiting because I'd like to buy a home of my own first, and then save/spend on my education. If I end up doing that, it will take at least another year.

Ugh! I wish, I wish, I wish! But somehow the wishing doesn't help! I have to just start doing for myself and stop waiting. I guess that I should really pursue a Saturday job to bring in that little extra to save for a house.

The good thing is that I feel like I have a viable plan that I can go after now.

My Kid Cracks Me Up!

2008-04-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

If you have kids, then you know the amazing comedy that can sometimes erupt spontaneously. If you don't have kids, there is no way to really explain what it's like. You'll just have to wait and see.

Tonight, while I was talking to my son and tucking him in bed, our conversation rambled from one topic to another. We started talking about vocabulary, and long words. I mentioned the word sphygmomanometer. If you're not familiar with the word, it is the blood pressure cuff that they use in your doctor's office.

So my son comments that a lot of those medical words are long. Like thermometer. Ther-mom-eater! Grrrr! Well, he explains, that's what it sounds like. Hi, I'm Ther, a mom eater!! He starts snapping at me. We're both laughing, it's a good one!

Nobody can make me laugh like my son.

Best Biscuits

2008-04-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

I love this biscuit recipe. I am a little picky when it comes to biscuits, but this recipe is on my top ten homemade biscuits list. For a couple of reasons. They are simple to make. In about 10 minutes or less, you can be sliding these into the oven. They rise beautifully and have a flavor that is nice enough for both sausage patties or some nice jam.

I brush some butter on the top of these when they're just about done baking. Be careful not to over bake these, they'll be a little light on the top but more done on the bottom if your oven is like mine.

INGREDIENTS

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 tablespoon baking powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 tablespoon white sugar
* 1/3 cup shortening
* 1 cup milk

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Gradually stir in milk until dough pulls away from the side of the bowl.
3. Turn out onto a floured surface, and knead 15 to 20 times. Pat or roll dough out to 1 inch thick. Cut biscuits with a large cutter or juice glass dipped in flour. Repeat until all dough is used. Brush off the excess flour, and place biscuits onto an ungreased baking sheet.
4. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges begin to brown.

Bacon

2008-04-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. If you love bacon like I do, check this out:

glumbert - Jim Gaffigan loves bacon

Blast from the past

2008-03-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I was at a friend's house for dinner and suddenly a song from a TV show popped into my head from out of nowhere. I couldn't quite remember what it was from, just that it went '3-2-1 Contact.'

Of course, with the internet being what it is today, I was able to find what I was looking for immediately. If you were a kid in the 80s, perhaps you'll remember this song, too.

Restaurant in the Sky

2008-03-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me an email with all of these pics and asked if I would eat here...my answer? NO! Ok, more like hell NO.

This place hauls up a table and chairs (that swivel 180 degrees) by a crane and serves dinner. Go check out the other crazy photos at their website.

Eek!

Also, go check out Forbes' Most Unusual Restaurants in the World slide show. (click on the spot where it says "In Pictures.")

Cute Websites

2008-03-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

I know that some people know about these websites, but just in case...

These are my 2 favorite cute websites to look at. Stuff On My Cat. The name says it all. And Cute Overload. Again, appropriate name! Go check them out. New stuff every day to make your day a little brighter.

Mini Food

2008-03-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm always like a big kid when it comes to mini stuff. I love huge food, too, anything that is good enough to get into the Guiness World Book of Records. But I've got a real soft spot in my heart for mini food.

This was something made by hercuteness over at craftster.org. Here is a link to her project.

It was inspired by an article in the Martha Stewart magazine. Of course, I think that the things that I frequently see in the Martha Stewart magazine are impossible to make at home (at least it won't look half as good!). So, it was nice to see these pics...the real thing.

Isn't is amazing?

2 Million Minutes

2008-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

I found this on YouTube. I think that this would be a very interesting documentary to watch. It compares and contrasts American high school students to students in India and China.

Mio fratello ti chiama Giovanni.

2008-03-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

I've been having fun lately listening to podcasts designed to teach you Italian at Learn Italian Pod.

They have a beginner's section, which is definitely where I am skill-wise, and the recordings are about 10 minutes long each (some are a little shorter). I go in and listen while I work, absorbing as much as I can and sometimes listening to the same recordings a few times.

I am trying to stretch this brain of mine! I've also found that it is fun to go to Italian food blogs and try to figure out what they are saying. And I've also found a good online dictionary to help with my interpretations.

Here are a few Italian food blogs (lots of transplants to Italy from other European countries it seems, I keep finding Italian food blogs where the owners are Swedes, Germans, etc.):

Un Tocco di Zenzero (A Touch of Ginger)
Il cavoletto di bruxelles
Cuoche dell'altro mondo (A Cook From Another World)

I find it very entertaining to see Italians cooking Asian food and how many other Italians reply with enthusiasm to those types of recipes.

Creamy Potato Soup

2008-03-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

I tried this recipe from Recipezaar this weekend. I think that I should've boiled my potatoes a little bit longer, but overall the flavor was good. Next time, I'm going to add a sprig of fresh rosemary and some parsley for extra flavor.

What if...

2008-03-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

What if you could take a big risk in your life, without the risk? What if I told you that you could try doing something that up until now you were afraid to do because of the possibility of failure but that it would be a success...guaranteed?

I guess that is the crux of risk, that there are no guarantees. But I think that it's an interesting way to free your mind to start really dreaming big, if only to see what your big dreams truly are.

If I could try something without the fear of failure...I think that I would change jobs and do something completely different from what I've been doing. Maybe interior design or criminal forensics. Something that holds the promise of excitement and new experiences.

I've always been drawn to color and shape, the joy of beauty for the sake of beauty. I also really thrive in cold, hard scientific facts. Things that can be relied upon, researched and referenced. Somewhere in this mix of art, criticism and detail is a joyous career awaiting to be discovered.

I think that a lot of problems in the world come from the paralysis that some of us suffer from. We get locked into our little lives, our little problems and forget how much of a difference our efforts can make. I was watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition last week and the family that was selected made an incredible difference in the lives of so many people in their community. They had 7 people living in a house that was less than 600 square feet. Yet, they made a difference to other people, even having so little. With no promise of reward, they contribute to others because that's what they believe in.

If I had nothing to fear, not only would I dream of living a great life for myself, I would also pursue a purpose driven life.

Recipe that I must try!

2008-03-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

My sister blogged about picking up some yummy pepper shooters at a hoagie shop in Philadelphia. Pepper shooters are cherry peppers (hot) stuffed with a hunk of sharp provolone cheese wrapped in prosciutto. They also had salamancinis, which are pepperoncinis stuffed with a hunk of sharp provolone wrapped with salami.

Her boyfriend asked her to try to recreate the peppers at home. So, of course, my sister tried to meet the challenge and moved forward. Her shooters looked like this. However, she did say that they didn't turn out quite how they were at the store, so I started looking online for a recipe to try.

Here is what I found:

16 cherry peppers
1/3 pound grated provolone cheese
3 to 4 ounces prosciutto
Salt and white pepper to taste

For the marinade:
1 cup extra virgin olive oil
\ cup red wine vinegar (don't know what this measurement was supposed to be, so I figure just add to taste)
Juice of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon chopped fresh garlic
{ cup chopped fresh herbs (rosemary, basil, thyme, marjoram, oregano, etc.)

Whisk marinade ingredients together in a non-reactive bowl and set aside.

Remove the stems and cores (with seeds) from the peppers using a sharp paring knife. Quickly blanch if desired, and then dry the peppers well with paper towels. In a small bowl, mix the cheese and prosciutto with the salt and pepper. Carefully fill each pepper with the cheese mixture and place in jars or a shallow non-reactive casserole dish. Refrigerate.

Late New Year's Resolutions

2008-03-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

I'm like many people. I resolve not to make resolutions each New Year's Day. I think that people should have an ongoing desire to improve themselves.

But regardless of what I say, I find that the beginning of a calendar year is a good time to look back and decide what needs to be changed as I move forward. Even without meaning to, I find that I give myself goals every year.

So what is it this year? Well, oddly enough, it's not too different than every year before this one.

(in no particular order)

1. Spend meaningful time with my son.
2. Get regular exercise, to improve my shape and feel better, stronger.
3. Eat better...same reasons as above.
4. Find happiness and joy in a relationship with a great guy.
5. Work in a fulfilling and rewarding job.
6. Save towards buying a "home" of my own.
7. Learn more Italian.

and last, but not least, and possibly the most important

8. Take more risks to get what I want out of life.

Back to School Lunch Box Ideas

2007-08-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

I've been doing research on what to pack in my son's lunch box. Why? Up to this point, my husband had taken care of school lunches. But now, since we'll have two households, I don't think I can count on him to take care of that anymore!

I wanted to find fun, yummy and fairly healthy foods for my son. Things that I'd pack myself for lunch. Since I've been to a ton of different websites and compiled a list for my own convenience, I thought I'd share the ideas with others.

Main Dishes

Sandwiches - PB&J, PB&Banana with Honey, Various meats & cheeses, egg salad, chicken salad. Liven up the sandwiches by using pita bread, mini bagels, tortillas, English muffins, dinner rolls, regular sized bagels with cream cheese, or use cookie cutters to make sandwiches into neat shapes
Macaroni & cheese (try to slip in some steamed broccoli or another veggie they'd like)
Potstickers with dipping sauce on the side
Cold tofu with a soy, sesame oil and green onion dipping sauce (serve w/edamame)
Cold noodle salads (sesame noodles with chicken)
Pig in a blanket (a hot dog baked in a crescent roll/biscuit coating)
Hot soup in a thermos
Cubed cheeses with cubed ham, crackers, olives, pickles, and artichoke hearts (think: party tray)
Try chicken salad in an apple "cup" - cut the top 1/3 of the apple off and removed interior flesh, fill with chicken salad and replace the top

Side Dishes

Carrot sticks and other veggies with ranch dip in a container
Low-fat crisps/chips (smaller snack size bags)
Rice cakes or oat cakes
Baked pita chips (easy to do at home, using pita bread)
Pasta salad
Potato salad
Rice pudding
Banana or zucchini bread, also try carrot pineapple muffins
Dried fruit (apricots, raisins, etc.)
Fruit salad, fruit cocktail (remember to buy those with light syrup or juice)
Fresh fruit (apples, bananas, citrus, pears, pineapple, melon, cherries, grapes, peaches, nectarines, kiwi, mangoes, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries)...make fruit more interesting by placing it on bamboo skewers
Granola / trail mix (Wild Oats' website has recipe for trail mix)
Applesauce cup
Olives / pickles
String cheese
Yogurt
Reduced fat, hard cheese

Drinks

Water
Water with a Country Time lemonade pack mixed in (low sugar and it's real sugar, not HFCS)
Sparkling water flavored with fruit
1% milk (regular or chocolate)
Juice box (check to make sure it's 100% juice...freeze the juice box and it'll thaw by lunch)

General Tips

Use low-fat cheese on sandwiches. Though cheese provides calcium, it's the second leading source of artery-clogging saturated fat in kids' diets.
Switch from ham, bologna, salami, pastrami or corned beef to low-fat alternatives. You can still buy the ham and bologna...just look for a lower-fat, lower-sodium variety.
Include at least one serving of fruit in each lunch.
Use whole grain breads instead of white breads (beware of 'enriched flour'...it means it was ground so fine that it lost all it's nutrients and they've been added back in; however, your body doesn't absorb the added nutrients the same way it would in their natural forms).
Limit cookies, snack cakes, doughnuts, brownies, and other sweet baked goods. These are big sources of saturated fats.
Pack baked snacks instead of fried snacks - even if they use Olean (it can cause cramping & diarrhea...cha cha cha).
If you send juice, use 100% juice.
Avoid Lunchables.

If you have any ideas to add to mine, leave me a comment...I can certainly use any good suggestions! Also, if you haven't checked it out, Google 'laptop lunches' to see the American version of the Japanese bento box.

So, what would you do?

2007-08-13T20:01:00.000-07:00

I have been hurriedly searching for a place to live the last few weeks. I've been searching online, in newspapers, and by word of mouth. And after about a month, I don't really have much to show for my efforts.

My problem? Well, it's a few things.

First, I have a small budget that I'd like to stick to, simply because I don't feel like throwing away most of my paycheck each month to someplace that isn't going to give me much return in the way of a long term investment.

Second, I will have a 7 year old boy half of each week and that cramps some folks' style.

Last, I have certain standards that I won't compromise on. I won't live with a creepy 45 year old man who's interested in the fact that I'll be recently divorced. I won't live with partying 21 year old kids. Or people who have older kids that may prematurely educate my son about some of the more delicate intricacies of the relationships between men and women.

So, right now, I feel that I'm faced with two choices.

The first...dum - dum - dummm - is a mobile home in a small trailer park not too far from here. Or as my friend Ben would call it, "wheel estate." I would have one small room to myself, the living room and a small kitchen. The owners keep the other room and are in town about 3-4 weeks per year. Otherwise, it's all mine. Yup. And, in case you're wondering, the trailer park is just like you'd imagine a trailer park being. Inexpensive cars...lots of them...The only other thing is I am not sure if trailers get more bugs than regular apartments...I hate spiders...or if they're more/less expensive in regards to utilities. It's also an older place, but has new carpet and paint. And a swamp cooler. That's right, no A/C.

The second is a room and shared living space in an apartment just across from mine. The benefits of this place is that it's really close to my son's school. I'd be in a regular apartment, so I know what to expect, and I'd still live close to my neighbors that I'm friends with. Very close. But I would also have company. I guess that can be good or bad, depending on how well we get along long-term. Also, my current place also has an exercise room. The bad part, I'd be sharing with a 24 year old bachelor. But, he's the geeky, non-partying type...so maybe?

Each would probably cost about the same.

So, what would you do?

Got a job!

2007-08-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

Since I'm not starting until the 20th, I'm not going to say too much about it except that I'm really happy!

I think that the people are going to be great to work with and that it will be a fun place to work. I feel like my coworkers will be very supportive of me and allow me to grow.

Yay!